“Where the needs of the world and your talents cross, there lies your vocation.”
Aristotle 348-322 BC
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Monthly Archives: October 2011
What do you want written on your gravestone when you die?
I was asked this question two days ago at a business club meeting and I stumbled to find an answer. I eventually came up with, ‘I truly lived and experienced all that life had to offer.’ It’s kind of lame – isn’t it? It’s vague and doesn’t same much either.
My issue is that I have no idea what my purpose is or what I want to do with my life. I know what I’m good at…I know what I enjoy…but how do I translate that into the meaning of my life? I don’t have any huge aspirations to become a writer (done that) or business owner (done that) or a ….. Do I not have any dreams?
Yes, I suppose I have inklings of dreams – I want to be a scientist, a coffee shop owner, an art teacher, a Yoga instructor and someone that is able to discover and demonstrate the Theory of Everything. I want to learn, learn, learn… But wanting it all leaves me in a space where everything is exciting yet it’s all too much and I can’t decide on anything. I don’t want to specialise either – I want to be more of a generalist and feed my body and soul with a wide variety of education and knowledge. So…all this choice has its limitations.
I suppose I liked being forced to find a job/make my company profitable so I could earn money and support myself. By doing so it allowed me to blame the job for my unhappiness rather than my choices. If I had to go get a job or start another company right now I’d be on fire. I’d have something up and running by the end of the week. But this time around I want to figure out who I am, what makes me tick and how I can best serve this world.
I’m scared.
Each day I write in my journal, read a book, meditate, converse with friends and contemplate life. Part of me thinks that I need this time and space to search my soul a bit…to figure out who Kim is and what it means to enjoy the journey of life.
And another part of me says, ‘what the heck are you doing – make yourself useful and be productive.’ I suppose that I’ve never taken time out – ever. So now is my time.
I’ll keep you posted.
So…what do you want written on your gravestone when you die?
x
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Feel more relaxed and better manage your emotions through quick mediations
A Way to Benefit from Meditation without Spending Loads of Time!
Right – I always thought you needed to set aside a good 20 minutes to 1 hour to get the benefits of meditation. And when having a spare 20 minutes, rather than meditate, I often feel forced to clean the kitchen or nip out to get groceries. Well…after listening to an audio by Laura Silva on ‘Stoplight Meditation’ I discovered that there’s a way to do quick meditations throughout the day. In fact, her audio teaches you how to do a meditation at a stoplight with your eyes open.
I thought, ‘yeah right,’ but after following her instructions I was able to do it (get into the Alpha state needed for meditation) and I did feel a quick surge of peacefulness for doing so.
Aside from prompting you to focus on your goals, the benefits of these mini meditations include:
- Having a clear mind
- Feeling more relaxed and in control
- Managing your emotions better
- Thinking through problems easier
Laura Silva offers what she calls a ‘passive moment meditation’ where she talks you through it and then she gets you do to it by yourself… After learning the meditation technique Laura then walks you through a series of exercises all leading to a quick open-eyed meditation technique.
Open-eye meditation
With eyes open, you can defocus your vision and then picture goals, outcomes and benefits. Laura calls this dynamic energetic manifestation.
- Select a goal you would love to manifest
- Close your eyes
- Picture it on your mental screen
- Muscle up intense desire, belief and expectancy
- Open your eyes but keep your vision defocused and remember how this feels
- Blink, focus and out of the meditation you come
Laura starts you off with a 2 minute meditation as outlined above with your eyes closed (at first) and gets you to do it a few times reducing the amount of time it takes each time. By the end you do it with your eyes open for ten seconds. I went along with her instructions and each time it became easier and easier to do.
The audio is about 15 minutes long and well worth the time invested. Now when I’m going to clean the kitchen or nip out for groceries I can surely spare 10 seconds in-between to do my ‘Stoplight Meditation’!
Download the audio here: http://www.silvamanifesting.com/stoplight-meditations/
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How to find more enjoyment with your children
I love my daughter more than anything else in this world and that includes me! When I was pregnant I stopped drinking alcohol, gave up my crack cocaine habit (just joking – I don’t do drugs – heheeheh), I ate vegetables and drank my 6 glasses of water every day. I relaxed and made sure I was feeling calm so to provide the best womb experience possible… (yes – this is the world of Kim that’s writing right now).
And now that my daughter is a little being (17 months) I’ve been working hard to understand child development. I don’t want to be a parent that spoils their child but I don’t believe in tough love either.
Anyhoooo…parenthood is freaking hard work!
No matter how good a parent you want to be it’s often impossible to understand what the heck kids are thinking or feeling. I have however noticed one thing that seems to work and I want to share this with you.
I’ve found that I can’t plan anything with my daughter – I have to simply go with the flow. If she’s in a good mood I go with it and laugh, play and make sure I’m totally focused on the present moment (now). If her teeth are bothering her or she has a cold I cuddle her or work to distract her from her issues – and of course, I make sure I’m in the now with her.
It seems that the more present I am (the more in the now that I am) – the more I let go of what I should be doing or what should be happening the calmer she is…and the more peaceful I am.
And my job is not to make my child happy – my job is to support her wherever she is. In order to support her best, I need to let go of everything else that’s in my head and go with the flow.
So…if you’re looking for more enjoyment in the area of children, be present with them and see what happens – to both them and you!
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I found the best book about how to do what you love and get paid for it!
A book review on ‘Screw Work Let’s Play,’ by John Williams
Being a bookaholic it takes quite a bit for me to really rave about a book. Not only do I think this book is amazing, I’ve already purchased a copy for a few friends and had it sent to them by Amazon.
If you are in a job you don’t really like OR run/manage a business where you’ve lost your passion, this really is a must read.
I don’t think that I can describe what makes it so fantastic – and I don’t want to come across as a cheese ball, but the author must have written this book from his heart. Every word, sentence, paragraph and chapter seems to fit perfectly.
The great thing is that it’s written with a unique perspective – there’s loads of references to other people following their heart but the content, for once, doesn’t seem like a regurgitation of something else.
An issue I’ve had for years is that I know that I can do anything I want…but what the heck do I want? John starts the reader off with an outline on how to work out what you really really want. Most authors seem to assume that the reader knows that they are passionate about… that the reader has a clue about what they’re really good at and would enjoy doing.
The generations before me (and mine) were told that work is hard…and if you’re not miserable doing what you’re doing, you’re not really working. And if you’re not really working you don’t deserve to get paid. I don’t know where it came from or why it exists but things that come natural to us are pushed down and we’re told to ‘live in the real world’. It’s nuts.
Anyway – if you can’t remember what you’re passionate about or what your next step in life should be, I totally urge you to get this book. It will help you to realise what direction you might want to head in.
And if you do have the luxury of knowing where you’re your talents and passion lay, this book is still worth reading as it tells you how to take that passion and make money from it!
The author also discusses what to do next, how to get stared, how to guarantee success and then he brings together what you’re passionate about and how you can get paid to be passionate! Woooo woo! The book also includes practical information on getting your passion out there – sales and marketing. It’s all good.
Seriously…if you need a kick in the butt to get you to enjoy your journey, get this book. I promise you’ll get a return on your money (and time) invested.
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Is planning your life a good idea or bad?
I once read that when you come across a paradox you’re getting close to the truth. Lately I seem to come across quite a few things that are a ‘seemingly true statement or group of statements that lead to a contradiction or a situation which seems to defy logic or intuition.’ (I took definition off of Wikipedia)
Teachers and some business gurus are still telling people about the importance of setting goals, having a 5-year or 10-year plan. I grew up being told at the age of 14 to start to think about what I want to be in life. I envisioned getting a university degree, securing a good job, getting married and eventually having a family. I’m sure many people had (and still have) the same vision.
Throughout life I struggled with the fact that I’m a starter – I love to think up new ideas, new concepts – even new companies, but I really dislike sticking with any project until the end, hence the reason for leaving my companies after 8 years (read more on the About Me page).
And just this past week I discovered that I’m not alone – there are loads of starters (Read my article – It’s okay to be a starter and not a finisher). And yesterday I wrote about a documentary explaining that the new world encourages starters (Read my notes on Living in perpetual beta). The documentary explained that life is about now – not later. It’s about doing what your heart tells you to do…not planning too much…keeping an eye out for the next opportunity and flowing with life.
Yikes.
I left my companies to see if I could find a way to enjoy the journey of life. I assumed that I would need to plan the journey – yes? But perhaps it’s not about planning? Or is it?
If you have on a table some rocks, pebbles, sand and water and you need to get it all in a specific jar, how would you do it? (Just keep reading – I am going somewhere with this!)
The only way for everything to fit is to first put the rocks in, followed by the pebbles, then the sand and finish by pouring the water. If you try to do it any other way, it won’t work. (I’m not sure where I read this but it came from one of my many self-help books).
Where am I going with this?
Well…rocks represent the important things in your life. If you don’t take the time to plan your rocks, they might not fit in. For example – health is a rock for me. I have to plan my yoga or meditation time – otherwise, I don’t do it and feel crap as a result. Another is family time – if it was up to me I’d probably work every hour of the day and it’s not because I love work…it just comes easy. So for family time, I look out over the week or weeks and plan in a day to the zoo, a trip to the woods or section off free time to play ‘let’s body-slam daddy!’
This is where the paradox comes in. Going with the flow won’t work for me – at least, I don’t think it will. Perhaps the solution is to plan in time for rocks but go with the flow as to what is done within the allocated time?
Yes – I like systems! I like to plan/organise…and dare I say that I like control. This new world of just getting up, doing what you love and seeing where that next takes you is weird. It’s not normal.
But on the flip side…I love the concept of it. I like the thought of being passionate and then letting that passion come out in any way that it can. I love the thought of flowing and truly feeling creative, alive and energised. To be who I’m supposed to be (whoever that is and whatever that means).
I suppose I’m just going through the teething pain of switching from one world to a new world. Various circles are saying that due to 2012 (the end of the current world age) we’ve been going through a lot of changes – both the earth and us personally. I read that we’re being upgraded to live a different way. So here comes Humans 2.0 – it cracks me up, but I can’t help but think there must be some truth in it.
Enough ramblings for today! x
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Learn how to stop caring too much about what other people think
Caring about what other people think is quite a balancing act.
Care too much and you will have to conform to what others want you to be. Care too little and you may find yourself alone.
And then there is the whole topic of who should you listen to – caring about what your inexperienced friend may think is probably not worth thinking about. And failing to listen to an experienced family member may cause regret.
From all my research and experience, I know that in order to enjoy the journey through life you need to be authentic – you need to follow your heart and be who you were meant to be. But being authentic often means doing things that others will never understand.
For example, most entrepreneurs take risks and do things that the rest of the flock would be too afraid to do. Entrepreneurs come up with an idea…they take the idea and turn it into something tangible and they force themselves to go outside their comfort zone.
Not only do entrepreneurs freak everyone out because they’re going against the flow of safety…but in order for them to be successful they need to fail over and over. And when I say fail, I don’t mean this in a bad way. Someone once said, ‘there is no such thing as failure – there’s only feedback,’ and I totally agree with that.
So…to be authentic and to do what your heart is telling you to do, you need to get out there and do it! When you do go out and do it – whether you want to start a new business, become an artist, save the world or find a remedy for foot callouses – a lot of people are going to give you their opinion.
I once had a bumper sticker that said, ‘Opinions are like buttholes – everyone has one’. So true.
Anyway – every time you try something new and it doesn’t work some people are going to say things like:
- I thought you were rushing it
- You need to learn to walk before you run
- Why don’t you just _________ ?
What a load of rubbish! Whoever says those kinds of things are people that:
- Have no idea what you’re going through
- Don’t realise that living the authentic life means trying new things (and sometimes failing)
- Secretly wish they had your guts but are not ready to lead the life they’re meant to lead
This is important: When people give you their opinion it is your responsibility to decide whether or not it’s worth caring about. You need to stay conscious and apply a filter to the feedback you receive. If the feedback is reasonable and there’s some truth in it…except it, learn from it and move on. If the feedback makes you feel like a loser…pretend your rubber! (I’m rubber, you’re glue – whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you).
And the ironic thing about all this caring malarkey – is that once you stop caring about opinions that don’t support you – people seem to stop giving them. I’ve discovered that if you follow your heart and it feels right…then it is right.
Peace out! x
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How technology is enabling us to enjoy the journey more
My notes on ‘Life in perpetual beta – a documentary film’
As described on the LifeInPerpetualBeta.com website, “Life in Perpetual Beta is a documentary film about the ways in which technology has/is/will change the ways in which we think about ourselves as individuals and a society. It is exploring the cultural shift that technology creates as it enables people to live less planned and more passionate lives.”
Below are the notes I jotted down while watching the film. The film is about 35 minutes long and it’s well worth viewing. I insterted it below so you don’t have click off my site to watch it. I do, however, recommend that you check out http://www.lifeinperpetualbeta.com/. If you don’t have the time to watch the film, just skim through the notes I’ve made below.
I’m actually excited and scared by the documentary. I have this increasing feeling that my whole world is being turned on it’s head. I feel as if I have to examine every thing I’ve ever been taught and determine if it’s correct.
Furthermore, due to my 17 month daughter I’m freaking out as to what I need to be as a parent so that she can have the best opportunity to totally enjoy her life journey. I’m questioning the education system. I’m looking at the financial systems – just this past week people in London have started protesting at St Pauls – similar to protests on Wall Street and other major cities.
Is it just me or is everything around us falling apart? Is it because the world is coming to an end or is it to make space for a totally new way of life?
Read my notes below and if anything sparks an interest, I urge you to watch the powerful documentary that Melissa Pierce put together. Not only is the film enlightening but the producer (Melissa) has conveyed her message/passion in a way that represents the our new emerging world…
About life and life with the current technology:
- Life is more fluid than having one overarching purpose
- Life is more than reaching for a goal or goals
- The creative process has now opened to everyone. The gate keepers are being eliminated
- Beliefs are all being turned upside down
- Our lives can now be highly personalised – you get the songs you want, you hang out with people you want, you work in circles with like-minded people (whether it’s on Face Book, Twitter, etc)
- Social media is making change happen faster
- There are fewer speed-bumps between your idea and getting out there
- Free thought is being shared globally – changing how we think and go through life – we’re going to see is a fundamental shift in everything
- Never seen so much productivity in the creative world – there’s an enormous amount of energy and it’s getting out in front of people
- It’s confusing as to how we fit in to all this change
- The Internet is a distribution channel that is opening doors and connecting people faster than ever before
- Both truths and untruths spread very quickly – you need to be selective and even a bit cynical with what you read. There’s a lot of garbage that is out there
- We don’t need to remember information anymore. As kids we had to cram our head full of facts to regurgitate them – we don’t need to do this anymore
- People 25 and under now share everything…the older generation is more private. Kids growing up now are much more public and becoming more open. We’re learning about where the line is…
- If you can channel your passions into recommendations people will listen to you – much more than an advert
- Sharing, rating, reviewing…it’s all an action of co-creation
- Do what I feel like doing rather than planning too much – it’s more about looking out for opportunities and going with flow rather than having any sort of concrete plan
- You can’t predict what’s going to happen – have an idea of where you want to go but be willing to pay attention to where you are and change accordingly. The world is changing so fast you need to go with the flow
- Anything you do you need to do it because it feels good – it can’t be done systematic.
- Life becomes a series of interactions that help you to learn new tools, meet new people, spread new ideas… The new mind-set is ‘This job or project may not fly but I’ll be better off for the next project/job.”
- Creative process – it’s about making mistakes, doing things, failing, succeeding…experimenting your way through life
- 13 year olds now will all be self-employed in the future… so if you’re 13 right now, make sure to do what you love
- Do what you love – you must do what you love
- Life is just a series of experiments – just keep going…keep experimenting. Don’t be afraid to crash and burn. You’ll learn from it and get up and do the next project better.
About Authenticity:
- You choose to develop this
- The more you live..the more you do it…the more authentic you can become – you can’t force it
- The act of being and doing what is true to you engages people – even if they don’t like you or your concepts they still are attracted to it
- Authenticity is obviously – you can see it in people instantly. They are either authentic or not
- We’re shifting from physical labour to intellectual knowledge based world – this frees up the creativity and enables people to market themselves much more freely
- Everyone is in the creative business now
- Creativity never runs out…and then there’s the Internet – combine the two and you can create to your heart’s content
- Short attention span – this is not to be tamed! It’s okay to be a starter
- It’s easier to be authentic – you don’t ever have to be anyone else
- It’s not about reading a book to learn something – it’s about asking questions..and finding meaning in the solution
- It’s no longer about ‘what do you want to be.’ That is disappearing… It’s the opposite. You need to know where you are now and consider what your next project is
- We’re going to stop forcing people/kids into a broken system…education. Mentioned home schooling, internet learning…
- Look in the mirror and see what’s in your heart – you have to live from that…
The documentary is well worth watching and I think it’s great that people like Melissa are getting out there and asking these powerful questions. Enoy!
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It’s okay to let people help you to help yourself!
As a kid I spent quite a lot of time being disappointed. My parents often promised to take my brother and me on a day-trip, to play miniature golf, or whatever and almost always our plans were cancelled. I’m sure they had good intentions.
My disappointment caused me to lose faith in people. For as long as I can remember, I believed that I was on my own and if I was going to get anything in life I needed to rely on me and only me. It’s amazing how this belief has shaped my life. In one regard, I’m one heck of a determined spirit – if I want something I quickly go off and learn what I have to do to get it. I have the attitude that no one is going to get in my way.
Sadly, however, the belief that I’m the only one that can make things happen has caused me to shut off help from caring friends and family. I inadvertently put a shield around my heart thinking that friends/family/employers/employees/strangers will always let me down so I’ll just keep them out. Or – I’ll let them think they’re helping me but deep down inside I’m just doing it to make them feel better about themselves.
Now that I’ve been experimenting with living from my heart (for a month or so now), I’ve felt the need for a connection to others. I can now see that I can’t do everything on my own and I need help – and not the kind of help that comes from little ole me reading a book or watching a DVD.
I want help to clear out some of these beliefs that no longer work for me. I want help to create new business opportunities that support my values and aspirations. I’ve even decided that although my at-home DVD Yoga practice is going great…my teacher (a TV screen) isn’t giving me the feedback needed for me to improve!
What is happening to me? I feel as if my whole world is dramatically changing before my eyes – and thankfully, the change is amazing! Every day I’m feeling more and more alive. Yeah – I have days where I feel like a piece of plankton (previous article, “Rather than being a small fish in a big pond I feel like a piece of plankton!“) but overall I feel as if I’m truly creating a journey that is so freaking inspiring (to me).
My message today, therefore, is that enjoying the journey isn’t a go-it-alone adventure. Yes – a lot of it has to do with the relationship you have with you (and the little voice in your head)…but in order to get your beliefs, self-talk and attitude to empower you it helps to get independent, caring and helpful support!
For the past couple weeks I’ve been going to a counsellor and I’ve been blown away with the amount I’ve learned about myself. I now realise where some of my beliefs have come from…and more importantly, I’ve discovered that I need to replace them with much better beliefs.
Regarding business I now have quite a few business friends, support networks and even a couple very caring mentors.
As for yoga – last night I finally got up the nerve to attend a yoga class. (Although I’m considered a high-powered businesswoman, it still freaks me out to walk into a new class for the first time!)
Anyway – the class was fantastic! It felt great when the teacher verified that I was doing something right and I felt excellent when she told me that I could do something better. And when three women came to welcome me and make sure I’d come again I realised just how much I’ve been missing by doing everything alone.
So – perhaps you have more faith in the human race than I did…but it’s still worth asking: are you connecting with people in a way that’s helping you to get the most out of your journey? Woooo wooo woo.
Happy days 
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To find success you need to live it and do it so that’s what I’m doing!
“There are no rules or formulas for success. You just have to live it and do it. Knowing this gives us enormous freedom to experiment toward what we want. Believe me, it’s a crazy, complicated journey. It’s trial and error. It’s opportunism. It’s quite literally, ‘Let’s try lots of this stuff and see how it works.” Dame Anita Roddick (Body Shop founder)
What a powerful quote.
This reminds me that you just have to do it…and ‘it’ is whatever feels right in the moment. Every day I make my to-do list and I have no idea whether I’m heading in the right direction. I’m definitely experimenting and trying lots of stuff. Each day I research websites, add a new addition to one of my blogs, read about others doing what I’m doing. I write articles, create plans, and discuss ideas with friends. And in-between following my heart-led actions I have lunch with my daughter (in a park or farm shop or play area), book an evening Yoga class and decide which night hubby and I will enjoy a dinner out.
I’m sure that I’m not doing everything perfect…and I’m probably following a few dead-ends, but who cares? Something I’m doing is going to stick. And if I just keep working at things I’ll quickly discover what I don’t like and what I do like.
So…today’s message is as follows: poop or get off the pot.
Enjoy your day. x
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