Monthly Archives: December 2011

Are you putting ‘in’ what you want to get ‘out’ of your life?

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When you cook the ingredients you use dictate the quality of the food. If you buy cheap low quality ingredients the food usually tastes like crap. For example – try the bargain sausages from Aldi!

When working on a project at school or work the amount of effort, love, dedication and passion you put in it dictates the final outcome. If you expend little effort, no love, and fail to show enthusiasm your outcome will be failure at worst and barely passable at best.

When gardening the appearance, smell and overall impact of a garden is perfected by wisdom, attention, love and caring green thumbs. If you fail to pull out the weeds, consider the colour scheme and envision the desired aroma’s your potentially beautiful garden will ultimately become an eye sore.

When living in a relationship the connection, attraction and interdependence is grown by kindness, thoughtfulness and loads of love. If you neglect your partner or fail to work on making the relationship grow and prosper the future of your relationship may be unfulfilling. (And who wants an unfulfilling relationship! At least with a garden you can close the blinds…with your partner you can’t exactly hide!)

I could go on, but the biggest message that I’ve learned over this holiday period is that what you put in you get out. It’s probably fair to say that we all logically know this…but how often do we look at the areas of our lives and consider whether or not we’re putting in the best that we can?

For example – what about the area of you? What do you feed your mind, body and soul with?

My father-in-law…is a great person that’s covered in not-so-great muck. He feeds his mind with ‘The Daily Mail,’ the 6pm News and programs about war and death. He feeds his mouth with bread, sugar and fat. He sits all day long in front of the TV. And he does nothing to instigate his spiritual side.

The result? Well…he’s always ill, always unhappy and always spouts on about how unfortunate his is. How ‘skint’ he is (on his £2,500/month pension with no bills) and how the world is a miserable place.

Considering that he fills up every element of his body, mind and soul with negative stimulus, there’s no doubt that the result will be undesirable.

I’d like to believe that I feed my mind body and soul with better ‘food’. I avoid newspapers and ‘news’ that focuses on the 1% negative in the world rather than the 99% positive. I read spiritual books. I eat well (but could definitely do better on this one!). I don’t exercise but I’m active… The one major input in my life that’s not-so-good is my ability to get caught up by negative thought streams.

I’ll be in a perfectly good mood and then ½ hour later I’ll notice that for ten or twenty minutes I’ve been having an argument with someone telling them to take a short walk off a long pier. Or I’ll roll a problem around my head over and over completely focusing on who I can blame rather than considering a solution.

It really aggravates me when I get lost in time and spend that time feeding my mind, body and soul with crap. However…at least I recognise that it’s happening. The more aware I can become of these thoughts the better I’ll be able to direct them down a more positive path.

So…what are you feeding into your mind, body and soul? If you’re not sure…look at the results of your reality. If all is good in your world, you need to pat yourself on your back – you’re imputing great stuff. If, however, you’re world isn’t the best it could be take a look at what you’re feeding your mind, body and spirit.

Peace out.

Remember to sign up to receive my articles by email – you can do this on my website on the form on the right-hand side. That way you don’t need to remember to visit my website.

 

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I’ve compiled a list of words that will help your heart to smile

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Words must have some sort of energy attached to them – when I look over a list of positive words I actually feel better.  And when I look at a list like below, my heart actually starts to smile!

So – give it a look-over and if reading the below words help you to enjoy your journey a bit more, copy them into Word, add/remove words accordingly, increase the font size to 22 and print them out.  You can then tape them next to your work area, in your bathroom or carry them around in your folder!

List of positive words that will help your heart to smile

Beautiful, colourful, enjoyment, exceptional, fresh, giggles, gorgeous, heavenly, invigorating, kindness, outstanding, perfect, pure, refreshing, simple, special, superb, terrific, timeless, treasure, valuable, best, caring, comfy, dreamy, endless, exciting, fantastic, forever, friendly, generosity, grace, happiness, inspiring, joy, laughs, luscious, new, positive, quality, rest, spectacular, success, sweet, vivacious, beaming, brilliant, clean, delicious, ecstatic, energy, golden, grand, healthy, luxurious, pleasure, radiant, rewarding, sensational, smiles, stunning, true, warm, amazing, bliss, brimming, confidence, delightful, dynamic, enhancing, enticing, excellent, fascinating, free, fun, glorious, goodness, great, heart-warming, interesting, irresistible, light, lovely, memorable, natural, precious, safe, serene, sparkling, sun, thriving, trust, unique, valued, wealth…

Before I sign off – remember that if you want to get my articles sent straight to your inbox simply enter your email address in the top right-hand box on my website.

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A quick stress relief exercise that works fast!

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With Christmas getting closer and closer I can feel my stress levels increase. Even though I’m not even hosting the big day at my house I still get nervous about various bits and bobs. Will my daughter like her new presents? Will my stuffing come out okay? Will  bad weather cause  issues during our drive down to the South coast? Will I wake up and have yet another pimple appear on my already dull face?

Yikes…I’m spiralling down into the dark abyss.  Let’s put an end to that!

  1. Decide how bad the stress is that you feel – low, medium or high
  2. Place your palms together
  3. Feel the stress that you want to leave your body (feel the physical pain or emotional surges)
  4. Breath in and out through your mouth pushing your stomach out as far as you can (on the inhale) and do this as fast and as deep as you can
  5. While breathing focus on something positive while noticing your heart area (for example, feel the love you felt at the birth of your child)
  6. After 10 to 30 seconds stop and see how much your stress levels have reduced.  Continue to do the exercise until you feel relief.

I’ve been doing this off and on now for a few days and it’s definitely helping me to snap out of my stressful mind-set. Give it a go and let me know if it works for you.

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More about how to remove stress from your life – the inside job…

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I wrote quite a long comment in response to Olga’s great comment from the Post entitled:

Removing the stressors in your life won’t remove stress – it’s an inside job!

Sooooo…for today’s contribution towards making life more enjoyable, please read the comments related to the above article by clicking on the link above.

Also – remember that if you want to get my articles sent straight to your inbox simply enter your email address in the top right-hand box.  One of these days I’m going to figure out the Theory to Everything so be the first to hear it from the horses mouth.  Hehehehe…

 

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Have you noticed that people are becoming kinder?

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This morning a girlfriend and I were driving out of a difficult intersection during rush hour traffic and a White-Van-Man not only let out the car in front of us but he let us through too.  The White-Van-Man traditionally tries to run you off the road!

Yesterday when I was stuck on the M25 car park a woman in the car next to mine smiled and me – it was 7:15am…no one smiles at that time, let alone stuck in a traffic jam. (Yes…I smiled back!)

Earlier I walked into my bank and not only did I get a prompt resolution to my problem but the guy who helped me gave me a direct phone number to his desk.  I actually felt as if he really cared. It’s the first time in my life that I felt ‘served’ as a bank customer.

Stuff like this seems to be happening all the time now.  Every time I’m on the Tube in London I see people give up their seats to the elderly or help a women with a pushchair up the stairs.  While walking down the road neighbours say hi and strike up a little conversation.

And on a closer level, my friends seem to be getting closer…They seem to be more like family rather than ‘friends.’

My business associates seem to be showing more love.  Talk of stomping out the competition is gone and messages of ‘loving the client’ are plentiful.  Kindness and appreciation for others seems to be blooming in every direction.

Why is this happening…

  • am I looking for kindness and therefore it’s appearing? (When you buy a new car, you seem to notice that everyone has the same car…or when you’re pregnant you seem to notice loads of pregnant women, etc)
  • am I getting back what I give out? (karma?)
  • is all this talk about global unity and social consciousness actually happening?  Are we as a world finally deciding to love each other and connect rather than hate and make war?

I suppose it’s all of the above, but the cool thing is that it’s not just me that feels a change occurring.  The world is changing and all you need to do to experience the change is to do the following:

  • When you’re out and about look for acts of kindness as they are everywhere
  • Be kind to everyone you see, touch or talk to.  Just a smile is an act of kindness!
  • Listen to the people talking about social consciousness, permaculture, global healing/mediation, and so forth.

Giving, noticing, learning about and receiving kindness will help you to enjoy your journey, so…

  • Hold the door open for people
  • Smile at a stranger
  • Appreciate a mother cuddling their child
  • Feel empowered by an elderly couple holding hands
  • Research  local community initiatives (how can we help our communities get even better?)
  • Follow people that are taking a stand to make the world a better place
  • Feel gratitude when someone holds the door for you
  • Smile back when someone smiles at you

And from me to you…I’m sending you a message…here it comes:

“Hey you…thank you so much for reading what I have to say. I appreciate you being in my life and if there is any way I can help you to enjoy your journey more, please let me know. I do care ;) “

Smiles,

Kim

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Removing the stressors in your life won’t remove stress – it’s an inside job!

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Tis the season for stress – eh?  I’ve had several epiphanies this week but one really stands out the most.  Even though I quit my job and have effectively eradicated 95% of the things that previously caused me stress I’m still stressed.

It’s as if new stressors moved in the second the old one’s moved out.  What does that tell me?  That clearly demonstrates that it’s not the outer world causing the problem…it’s my inner world.

Coming to that realisation must be half the battle –surely!

I am the creator of my stress and in order to change the effect it has over me (strained shoulders, shallow breathing, anxiousness, pimples, reduced immune system, headaches, bad attitude…dare I go on?!) I need to change my perception of what is going on in my life.

Rather than feel nervous about driving to a new location tomorrow, I could perceive the trip as an exciting adventure. Instead of wondering how I’m going to make money I might want to wonder what I’ll spend money on.  In place of worrying about my daughter failing to sleep again tonight (teething) I could go with the flow and if she doesn’t sleep, just deal with it. And as for my sore throat and croaky voice – rather than worry that I’m burning out…I could refuse to feel ill and spend my time thinking about how grateful I am to live in such during such an exciting time in the history of Earth.

We have a choice – don’t we? Or perhaps we don’t?

Let’s look at my driving anxiety more closely…what’s causing me to feel nervous about driving to Hook tomorrow? I know the exact route I need to take. I have sat nav. I know there’s ample parking. So what the heck is causing me to feel anxious? I once got lost near the NEC in Birmingham and cried for hours (it was more like 10 minutes) and since then I think I’ve been afraid that I might get lost.  I wonder if that is the source of my anxiety?

Hmmmmm.

I’ve read 3 books this week all about how to reduce stress and/or change outdated beliefs.  If what the authors say is correct, sub consciously I have an outdated belief about driving to new places that is causing me stress – perhaps my Birmingham incident formed a belief such as, “When I drive to new places I might get lost and if I get lost I get scared and cry”.

So…I need to apply one of the techniques and see if I can change that.

<Let me pause to test out one of my new found belief busting techniques>

Okay…I did two techniques – I did two to hedge my bets.   I rated my anxiety a 4 out of 10. It’s not earth-shattering anxiety…but it’s enough to cause me to feel worrisome.

So – how do I feel now?  Surprisingly, I actually don’t feel anxious at all.  Could this be true?

Let me test this out again on my fear/anxiety that my daughter will once again keep me up all night…My rating is a 7 – it’s been over a week of seriously broken sleep. I’m deprived and it’s making me cranky!  I’m so stressed over the thought of her once again keeping us up all night.

<Pause to do my newly learned stress reduction techniques>

Well, well, well.  I feel lighter, my shoulders don’t feel strained and I can actually say that if my daughter doesn’t sleep then that’s okay.  The emotional charge associated with the future event of sleep deprivation seems to have been removed.  If nothing else, it’s way lower than a 7!

Hmmmmm.

Before I tell you about the techniques I’ve used I’m going to do this for a few more days and determine if it’s really working.

We can all live in hope!

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Help your child with learning or anxiety issues with sound therapy

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I’ve really been harping on about how to change beliefs lately so let’s give that a rest for today. So – what’s on Kim’s mind this fine Thursday afternoon? Well…in the past two days I’ve read two books that both mentioned ‘The Sound Therapy Program’ so I took that as a message from the universe and investigated a bit.

The website is at www.mindsounds.com

It’s actually quite an interesting website. It seems to be a system that helps children with learning difficulties, behaviour problems, anxiety and stress issues. On the top right hand corner you can offer up your email address for a sample 10 minute MP3 file. I’m actually listening to it now and have to say that I’m feeling quite floaty and calm.

With my 18 month old daughter in mind, I think this music running in the background could not only help her to feel calm but help the whole family!

I didn’t know this, but sound therapy is used to treat a variety of issues as mentioned above, but also it’s used to help kids with ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, APD, ASD and many other conditions. I don’t know what APD or ASD are but they sound scary!

Anyway…this is what I found most interesting within the site…it’s an outline of what Sound Therapy can do for you (or your child):

“What can sound therapy do for you?

Based on research and observation certain sounds/music played around a 50-60 beats per minute (BPM) pattern drop the brainwaves from a Beta to an Alpha mode. This change in brainwave patterns can bring about a state of relaxation and calm.

This Alpha brainwave state is also used as a central theme in the accelerated learning process, which is due to the fact that in this Alpha state our brain becomes like a sponge and we are able to absorb information much more effectively.

Another aspect of sound therapy is that it can be used, through beats and pulses to activate both the left and right brain hemispheres, which is known as hemisphere synchronization. Having both sides of the brain active can improve many learning difficulties. Improvement can also be seen in hand eye co-ordination, neuromuscular co-ordination, reading and writing plus concentration and focus. When both hemispheres are firing well the process is called whole-brain learning.

The third aspect of sound therapy and one that is quite unique to the Sound Therapy Program is the ability to either speed up or slow down the brain. By using beats, pulses and natural sounds combined with music we can bring about a gradual speeding up of the brain which works well for slow learners, while a lowering and relaxing of the brain is appropriate with more hyperactive ADD/ADHD users.

So in essence we use sound therapy to either “bring the brainwaves down, cross the brain hemispheres and speed up or slow down the brain” and the benefits can be seen in learning difficulties, behavioural problems and to manage stress and levels.”

The CD’s are not expensive and if it does what it says it does it could be an investment well worth the money. Find out more at: www.mindsounds.com

 

 

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The answer to enjoying the journey – find your dysfunctional memories and remove the negative energy from them!

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I was so moved by a comment made on my blog yesterday that rather than reply to the comment, I’ve made it my main topic for today’s post.

Please read the comment sent in by ‘J’ in response to my article entitled: How do I get rid of the unconscious beliefs that are running my life?

“Dear J, Thank you for your kind words and sharing such a powerful story. There’s so much to be learned from your experience.

In the past I too have had major breakthroughs when I was able to heal a dysfunctional memory. The reason I call it dysfunctional is that the memory seems to take on a life it’s own and disrupt our lives until we face it and reconcile it…

But once we reconcile a dysfunctional memory it seems as if a load or burden gets removed from our body. I’m not sure how you actually felt once you took the power out of the alleyway memory but I bet you felt a few stone lighter!

Aside from feeling lighter, I’ve discovered that once I remove the charge from a dysfunctional memory my reality seems to change. For example, I use to look in the mirror and when I saw myself I felt disgusted and ashamed by how ugly I was. I’m sure it’s similar to what happens in an anorexics head… It’s not rational. But after doing some belief-work (removing the charge from several dysfunctional beliefs) I looked in the mirror and didn’t feel anything negative.

Isn’t that amazing? I wonder if you noticed any changes in your reality? Perhaps you no longer feared something or you felt a differently about how the world works?

Scientists are currently thinking that all memories (that we’ve ever had) are stored in our cells as pictures. At first I found this hard to believe because a cell is so tiny, but it seems to make more sense when you read the research surrounding it. For example, doctors have removed every part of a brain (of an animal) and yet the animal still had a memory. Further…people that have received organ transplants often experience thoughts/feelings/memories from the organ donor. I’m not doing the scientific community justice with my ‘proof’ here but let’s just assume that it is true…each one of your cells holds all your memories.

So…every single cell that you have has all your memories imprinted within the cell. Some memories/images are charged with positive experiences and some are charged with negative. And I suppose some are neutral.

It’s as if each memory has an energy to it…and that energy can be good for you (and your health) or it could be bad for you (and your health). Further – each memory/image creates a filter that you see reality through.

If you have memories of being told your unattractive or ‘not good enough’ you see your world through the beliefs that were formed as a result of those memories. You look in the mirror and see a reflection of someone that should walk around with a bag over their head!

To add to this…there are quite a few memories/images that we probably don’t even consciously remember. It’s common knowledge that our brains record every little detail of everything that’s ever happened so we’re full of all sorts of images. Those images/memories must all have some sort of energy…

So, in order to really enjoy the journey of life doesn’t it make sense to search out and find every dysfunctional memory and remove it’s negative charge?

The question then is how can you best do that?  And what about those memories that you don’t remember?

I’m on the case…watch this space.

Big Love. x

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How do I get rid of the unconscious beliefs that are running my life?

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Over the past four years I’ve had a reoccurring issue with my shoulders. I feel as if a butcher’s meat hook is put in the back of my neck and pulls the muscles in my shoulders upwards. I think I’ve mentioned this before. I’m constantly trying to massage them down or stretch a shoulder in one direction pulling my head in the other. The more I focus on my shoulders the more they hurt.

The crazy thing is that I know that nothing physical will get them to relax. Even if I went for a neck, back and shoulders massage they’d still be tight and forcefully shrugged.

It’s an inner issue. This is an issue that my body is screaming at me to solve and for the life of me I can’t figure out what I need to do. One day I’ll wake up and they’ll be fine.

What is it that heals the issue? Is my relief the result of thinking happy thoughts? Or are my relaxed shoulders a result of distraction?

Even though I left my high-stress work environment I am still high-stressed. What’s up with that? Am I focusing on myself too much? Probably.

But the thing that’s really driving me nuts is that I’ll feel better if I distract myself through work. Perhaps if I set up another company or get stuck into a project my shoulders will de-shrug and I’ll feel less stress…but this action must be just a cover-up! And surely it’s only temporary.

It’s as if stress fills my body up to my forehead and anything else will cause me to blow my stack. And my levels never dip below my waist… Fortunately I don’t get angry…but I recognise that my body is way too filled with stress. What the heck is causing it?

Well…It must be beliefs running in the background. Heck – I’m mostly happy…I’m very healthy…I have an incredible life. What the heck is going on in my body to cause me to feel as if I’m going to break?

I recently read that 90% of our beliefs are unconscious. I also discovered that you can have all sorts of conscious beliefs but it’s the unconscious one’s that actually rule the roost. And many of those unconscious beliefs are things like, ‘I’m unlovable,’ ‘I’m not worth,’ ‘Don’t trust people,’ etc. That’s nuts. Why would a species be created in such a flawed manner?

Hmmmm.

And then you get all these guru’s saying that you just need to be in the present… I don’t know about you but even when I’m present I have thoughts/memories/feelings that bubble up that I have no control over. They just come up (or don’t come up) yet the feeling of stress is there.

I have to say…on a whole, I’m actually doing very well. But I’m really perplexed about these hidden beliefs that are operating. I want to uncover all the ‘bad’ ones and either remove them or change them to work for me.

Just yesterday I read a study done by HeartMath. They took a scraping of DNA from a person’s mouth and then asked them to hold it and think about past bad memories. After examining the DNA it appeared broken. They then instructed the participants to thing about good memories…and when looking at the DNA it appeared to be back in perfect order.

Makes you think…

I really need to find a way to get to these ‘bad’ memories that caused these ‘bad’ beliefs. I need to take the power out of them as I’m sure that once I do I’ll never feel pain in my shoulders again!

Help!

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Enjoying my journey…I’m not sure if I’m making any progress

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I still feel so lost.  I’ve left the companies that I’ve spent over 8 years to build up.   I’m going to weekly therapy sessions to clear up issues of my childhood.  I sit at the computer doing this blog and a couple other websites (to feel some sort of productiveness).  I don’t know how I’m going to earn a living in the future.  I don’t know if doing what I’m good at is the same as doing what I really love.  I’ve achieved everything I wanted to achieve (and more) and it feels weird to not want to go after anything else.  I keep wanting to say, ‘yeah – I’ll make XYZ my goal,’ but then I think…no…I don’t really want to do that.

The thing is, is that I know I have so much to give and all I want to do is give.  I want to help people and companies to thrive. I want to show people that it’s possible to be happy as a person and super successful as a business person.  I just don’t know how to contribute in a way that works best for me and everyone else.  I’m so afraid to get myself stuck into something that is wrong…and to get trapped again.

Kim (this is me writing to me…it happens quite a bit) – I think you need to chill out for a bit and stop putting so much pressure on yourself.  For Pete’s sake – you don’t need to decide anything now or next month or even in several months.  Relax…get your house cleaned up and in perfect order (like you always wanted), do your Yoga as you now have no excuse not to…help your mother with her company (like you always threatened to do) and find yourself.  How many times have you said…’if I only had time I could sit and mediate until I find peace.’ Well Kim – either you do it now or it will never happen.

You’re worth the investment.

Thanks Kim…you rock.

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