How to change your ‘outer’ reality without lifting a finger

Posted on May 9, 2012 by Kim

Over the years I’ve learned (over and over) that in order to change my reality I need to start within. In other words, my outer life is a reflection of what is going on in my mind and body. I’ve read these teachings in various religious texts, self-help books and spiritual offerings. And for years I thought I understood what it meant but just wasn’t evolved enough to access my ‘inner’ world correctly.

Well…all this has changed for me over the past month. I’m still trialling my new found way to live life, but if the positive results keep manifesting, I think I’ll be hooked for life.

Let me explain how you can positively manifest your desires the easy way!

The old Kim was forever trying to control things. For example, if I felt that hubby wasn’t doing enough around the house, I would cause a drama or kick up my heels to get him to contribute more. Or…if I thought my friend was going to drink too much before or during an outing (which could result in irrational and embarrassing behaviour), I would ensure she was too busy doing something else (like looking after my daughter or getting her hair done) in addition to filling her up with as much food as possible.

Old Kim would think about what would make her happy and then take actions to ‘force’ it to happen to the best of her ability. Old Kim thought that you had to control things in the outer reality…

My life was all about considering the outcome that I wanted to achieve – perhaps a clean house, a reasonably behaved mother, or a moment of happiness and then I would work on the physical ‘outer’ world to force things to happen.

One day last month, however, I decided to experiment with my inner world. Instead of taking action or lifting one finger to cause an outcome, I sat in my chair and visualised the outcome I wanted instead.

I prevented myself from taking control and instead allowed the universe to deliver my desired outcome.

My first experiment went so well that I darn near fell over. Let me explain exactly what happened:

- I noticed that my husband was spending quite a bit of time at home failing to organise activities for our daughter such as swimming, play dates, and taking her to play areas. My daughter is 2 and my husband is the main carer.

- After noticing the lack of planned activities I grew more and more angry when I saw him watching TV and lazing about while my daughter played around in the house.

- My anger grew to the point where I thought, ‘That’s it – I’m going to have to book my daughter into a swim class, call her friends parents to arrange play dates” and so forth…

- I then said, “STOP” and thought this is not how the guru’s say life works. Before I unleash the wrath of Kim, let me try something different. Let me experiment with going within (whatever that means!)

- With an open mind, I sat in my chair, closed my eyes and asked myself…’Self, I don’t like this situation with my husband and moreover I don’t like the person I have become because of it. I feel stressed and think that if anything has to be done correctly, it has to be me that does it. Self – I don’t want to feel that way! I don’t like the situation and I don’t like how I feel.

- I then felt guided (either by my Self or something within me) to visualise the outcome I was looking for. So I visualised my daughter enjoying a weekly swim class, having fun with her friends (at other people’s homes), playing at play gyms, going to activity centres and enjoying a variety of engaging activities. I also pictured my husband very happy about planning things.

- After finishing my visualisation I noticed my hubby still sitting on the sofa engrossed in a televised golf game while my daughter was trying to press cheerios’ into the Nitendo CD slot. For some reason, I didn’t feel that bothered by it. I just carried on with my day and didn’t think much about the experiment or my hubby’s behaviour.

- The very next day my husband approached me with a list of all the activities he’s set up for our daughter. He enrolled her into a 6 week swimming class and had 3 play dates arranged for the week in addition to taking her to a play gym later that day.

- I freaked out a bit. I just couldn’t believe it…there was no sign that he was going to spend time sorting out activities. I didn’t say a thing. And the great thing about it was that he was very proud of himself and looked forward to taking our daughter out.

That was my first experiment. Since then, I’ve had several others that have all played out in a similar manner.

Even though I’ve discovered a much more empowering way to live it’s still a work-in-progress!

The most difficult thing about this new approach to living is that it’s hard to change. It’s so hard for me to wake myself up when I’m in control mood and say ‘Kim – your trying to force something here…stop that…go within and think and feel about what you want to achieve. Then…let it happen.’

And I’m also finding it hard to determine when to take action and when to just ‘allow’. For example, there was a situation that happened with my mother where I wanted to discuss something sensitive.

I knew that if the old Kim was in charge I would just blurt out my thoughts and it would make the situation more difficult. Instead of doing what I would have done in the past, I said, ‘STOP! Go within Kim.’ I can’t tell you how hard this was – it took a lot of will power. I think that it’s just my nature (or human nature) to want to seek solutions immediately.

Again, I simply sat in my chair and thought about the outcome I wanted…I wanted to be able to talk to my mom in a way where she could hear what I was saying without becoming defensive.

Lo and behold…within a day I had the opportunity to take my mom out for noodles and our conversation was miraculous. She actually brought up the sensitive issue and we were able to work through it in a way that was actually healthy!

Before we made it to the noodle bar I kept thinking that I didn’t know how to bring the issue up. I wasn’t sure what action to take…

I wanted to take action, but I stopped myself from doing so. I then somehow was led to an opportunity where I did take action but it was more of a flow rather than something I consciously was trying to force. (I hope that makes sense?!?!?)

And as for general happiness…during my chair sitting, eye closing time I usually take a couple minutes to feel what it feels like to be the best Kim I can be. I see myself enjoying golf (and improving my game), laughing while I play with my daughter, having meaningful conversations with my friends, (and on and on). During these visualisations I start to feel gratitude for how great my ‘inner’ life is and just like magic, it seems to be reflected more and more in my outer life.

Thank you universe…I think I am finally getting it. I’ve been living life ass backwards, but that’s over now.

Here’s to you ‘getting it’! Try experimenting and let me know how it goes!

Love,

Kim

The results of working on myself are seriously starting to pay off – here’s an example:

Posted on April 6, 2012 by Kim

My life changing decision to leave the ‘rat race’ and change myself from a stressed-out control freak into a peaceful, joyous being is working. In fact, it’s working so well that I’m gobsmacked by it all.

Just last week I went on holiday to Jamaica with my hubby and 23 month daughter. Prior to the trip I spent quite a bit of time visualising and feeling how I wanted the trip to go. I wrote in my journal a full page about the ease of the journey, the taste of the excellent foods, the warmth of the sun, meeting new friends, excellent service and on and on. When contemplating the trip I felt love and gratitude for having the opportunity to have such a wonderful vacation…I felt how I wanted to feel and was thankful for the trip before it even happened.

Well…to my delight the vacation was a totally new experience for me. Normally, the pre-plane trip (my mind speculating) is very stressful:

- What if I have to use the bathroom and the seatbelt sign comes on?

- What if my daughter won’t sit in her seat or cries too much?

- What if there’s lots of turbulence?

- What if we crash?

- (This list could go on for a long time…)

And that’s just the plane trip – as for the holiday, my normal ‘what if’s’ went along the line of:

- What if I get board?

- What am I going to do for 10 days if I’m not working?

- What if the food sucks?

Now I’m quite an upbeat positive person and on a conscious level I would have thoughts of excitement coupled with worries. In all my past trips, the plane ride is usually okay – I haven’t crashed yet…but every time I need to use the bathroom the darn seatbelt light comes on! And as for the actual holiday, I usually want to go home after 3 days!

For this trip, however, things were totally different. I spent time before going really getting myself into how I wanted to feel on the trip. I didn’t visualise every outcome…I just kept thinking about how happy I was and how great the service was…and how nice it was to meet new friends. And regarding the plane trip, I just visualised getting off the plane and thinking, ‘wow – that was an excellent journey.’

The results?!?!?

Well – we purchased two tickets for economy plus (my daughter is too young for a seat) and we were upgraded to business class and given 3 seats! In business class we had fully reclined beds! For a 10 hour flight I cannot tell you what a difference it makes to have a bed. I darn near died with happiness/gratefulness when I discovered it wasn’t a mistake – the seats really were for us! And surprise, surprise…the seatbelt light never came on. Needless to say, it was the best plane journey I’ve ever experienced in my life.

As for the holiday – it was exceptional. For ten days I did very little yet I was fine with that. I didn’t get stressed out feeling that I had to be doing something. I got up, ate breakfast, went swimming, ate lunch, did my meditation, ate dinner, had a glass of wine, mingled with people, enjoyed my hubby and daughter and that was that. No checking my phone or emails, no need to read 10 books, no desire to create a business plan…

Based on my previous vacation experiences it was totally different. For the first time in my life I actually had a ‘normal’ vacation! I did what I was supposed to do – I chilled out and simply enjoyed just being.

The strange thing is that I didn’t realise how monumental the change was until I was telling my therapy woman about it. I think it’s important to realise that when we work on ourselves, it’s often difficult to see that we are advancing…that we are getting closer to the higher version of ourselves that we’re aspiring to be.

So…my messages for today are these:

If you work on yourself you can change the way your life is. You can make it better, more fulfilling, more full of love and joy. I say this because if I can do it, so can you.
It’s helpful to find someone that you can talk to on a weekly basis that helps you to realize you’re making progress. I’ve discovered that when I discuss my self-help/spiritual growth with someone who understands who I am and where I’ve come from I seem to learn much more about myself. There’s something about voicing our journey that allows quite a bit of truth to come out – and that truth won’t become apparent if you don’t share it with someone.

Big love,

Kim

How random is this act of kindness – barring unsolicited calls for WI members!

Posted on March 22, 2012 by Kim

My dear friend Jackie is one of those people that lights up a room with sunshine. She’s always happy and goes out of her way to brighten up someone’s day. Well…after joining her local chapter of the Woman’s Institute (the largest women’s organisation in the UK) she discovered that many members were disgruntled at all the unsolicited phone calls they were getting – especially from double glazing salespeople!

Rather than simply telling the women that there is an unsolicited call baring service, Jackie proceeded to collect the phone numbers of each woman and offered to add them to the register herself! What a unique, spur of the moment, act of kindness.

In case you’re interested in the service, it’s http://www.mpsonline.org.uk – you can register to stop junk mail (MPS – Mail preference service), stop unwanted telephone calls (TPS – Telephone preference service) or stop unwanted faxes (FPS – Fax preference service). The service also lets you stop mail for deceased people too.

I’m personally still working on holding doors for people and saying hi to neighbours but Jackie’s actions have caused me to expand my kindness creativity!

Have you performed any acts of kindness recently? If so, let me and the other readers learn from you – reply to this post!

When you move to a new location more people smile at you. This is the reason why:

Posted on March 21, 2012 by Kim

Have you ever moved from one location to another and noticed that more people smile at you? A friend of mine recently moved from Brackley to Portsmouth and called me to say:

“Kim – everyone smiles on the South Coast of England! I’m so pleased we moved!”

Her comments reminded me of my first move from Rochester, New York, to San Francisco, California. I remember telling all my North Coast friends that Californians were far happier! I explained that since I landed in California everyone smiled at me. Coming from dreary Rochester it was such a contrast.

Then a strange thing happened. I went home to Rochester to visit my mom and surprisingly everyone in Rochester smiled at me.

The penny then dropped. It wasn’t that people in California smiled more – it was the fact that I was smiling more and people were simply returning the act.

Ever since I learned about this little trick I’ve worked at smiling wherever I go. Much to my delight, I seem to meet the nicest people and attract smiles from every direction.

So…in response to my friend, I said:

“Perhaps you’re smiling more because everything is new and exciting. And because of your increase in smiles, the world is simply smiling back at you!”

Try it for yourself: spend a whole day having a neutral face and then spend the next day smiling at everyone you see! I’m positive you’ll notice a massive difference.

Big smiles,

Kim

I asked the universe for help and clarity and the universe responded!

Posted on March 16, 2012 by Kim

The excitement I feel is so refreshing. Last week I felt as if I was doing all the right things yet nothing was connecting. Since my rant, I’ve not only had amazing moments of clarity, but the universe truly responded to my request for help. (Read my rant here: Universe – I need help. Please send me a sign or a teacher or something!)

I felt as if everything was disparate – all my heart-led projects were going in totally different directions.

I felt as if I was wasting time…and the whole listening to my heart was leading me on random goose chases. I felt disconnected and totally unaware of where I was heading. This week, all my actions have joined together as a whole in one way or another. A common theme has been revealed! Furthermore I’ve opened my eyes to see that my life has truly transformed…

I can now see a path – a very exciting, adventurous, dynamic and prosperous path.

I can categorically announce that I AM enjoying my journey through life more than ever before. Over the course of 5 months everything in my life has changed. I’ve gone from a being a high-stressed, super frustrated, semi-neurotic workaholic control-freak to a relaxed, mostly peaceful, healthy, heart-led, light-filled community loving spirit.

No…don’t get me wrong, I’m not enlightened and I haven’t become an ascended master! I still have fear, worries and the occasional bad hour (but no longer do I have bad days).

And please don’t think I’m telling you all this stuff to show off. I’m truly experimenting with different actions to find a better way to live… because if I can do it then so can you.

Within last week’s rant, I asked for the universe to help me understand where I was and where I should be going.

Within a day I had friends and events that enlightened me…and I experienced moments where I just seemed to feel the bigger picture.

It’s very hard to explain but a ‘knowing’ came across me. I have no idea how it happened, but the universe seemed to answer my plea for help through other people and by providing me with a feeling of amazing clarity.

I can’t say it was an epiphany…but my consciousness seemed to take a step up. Things all seemed to come together and I knew everything was perfect.

Let me tell you what I’ve been doing to give you an indication of how much my life has changed.

Since I decided to live from my heart rather than my head:

From a work perspective, I have organically grown into a variety of projects rather than looking for a job or creating another company. All I can say is that I thought about every opportunity in front of me and only went with the things that caused my heart to say yes. I felt my way through the decisions rather than logically calculating how much money I could make!

Now bear in mind, I’ve been taking this heart felt (feeling my feelings) approach for about 5 months now and last week I just couldn’t see where this new approach to living was leading me. The transformation has been happening but while things were changing I didn’t notice them. It’s not until I yelled at the universe asking for help that things started to make sense.

So over the past 5 months…I wrote a few chapters for a book on how to successfully create sustainable businesses (we’re everyone including employees, clients, suppliers, the world and owners WIN). The whole book is about changing the way business is done. Just recently, the book has sparked the interest of others and I’m now co-creating something which I feel will make the business world much better!

I’ve been offering marketing assistance to the main representative of HeartMath UK. HeartMath is an organisation that is helping people to live through their hearts more than their heads. This experience has led me to understand the impact we could have if everyone was to taught how to live through their hearts – especially in a business/school environment. http://www.heartmath.org/

Additionally, I’ve been helping a fantastic marketing agency and an educational Board Game company to market to the end client rather than just suppliers/distributors. On the surface you may think – where’s the heart in this…but I’m thoroughly enjoying the people working on the project and I really feel that I’ve been able to help them bring much more to the marketplace than is usually offered. Rather than gimmicks and marketing ‘campaigns’ I applied some of my sustainable business practices to the group. It’s all about offering amazing value – even before a potential buyer transacts. (I could go on for days about this, but I suppose that’s what my book is for!)

Further I’ve helped my mother to expand her ‘Souper Spices’ company. It’s been a real treat to create something with her rather than drink wine or gossip about relatives. The opportunity has elevated our relationship and given us something to bring us closer. Furthermore it’s a gift to see my mother express her passion and creativity through a profit-making online business. She has a purpose and it truly allows her to shine.

On top of all that, I’ve continued to be a part of an exceptional business group (Cranfield University Club) that meets monthly – within the group I’m connected to some of the most inspiring, caring and beautiful people I know. The people in this group are not associates – they are life-long friends that now sit within a special place in my heart.

Finally…I’m mentoring a few people personally on how to better enjoy the journey…and lots of other exciting things are bubbling up (watch this space!)

There’s a lot of variety in my work activities however every element contains heart.

This is such a massive change from where I was last year. I enjoy all of the people I’m working with, many of the projects involve making the world a better place and each day flows as if I am meant to be doing exactly what I’m doing. And that’s just the business side of things.

Keep in mind, that 6 months ago my main focus was building my companies. Money was my sole driver and living from my heart was not a concept I understood.

From a personal level…oh-my-gosh…I’m totally different. I could write a book on the transformation that has taken place. I actually care about myself now. I drink water, eat salads and actually enjoy it. I make sure I have ‘me-time’ every day which means meditating, contemplating and reading/writing. I tell myself, ‘I love you Kim,’ and I mean it. I’m the same Kim but way more full of love. It’s amazing. In fact, this change is really the most monumental.

If I had to give one bit of advice about making your journey better, it would be to work on YOU. By doing so, all else seems to come in line.

As far as my family life goes – WOW. My father was a workaholic and I was taking the same path. I barely remember him as a kid. My husband is a stay-at-home dad so I was able to work, work, work. Well…after working drastically cut-down hours of 9- 5 while my daughter was a baby I realised that my family is more important than anything (other than the relationship I have with me).

Due to my change in work circumstances, I now work from home. Just today I was typing an email and my hubby yelled, ‘Come quick Kim.’ I was able to see my daughter curled up with our cat. It was the first time my cat allowed ‘S’ to stroke her. It was a magical moment. I’ve been around for many moments now – ‘S’s first pee on the poddy, her attempt to say Bluberries (booberies) and I usually get cuddles and kisses throughout the whole day. If I carried on being ‘old Kim’ I would have missed these priceless moments.

No amount of income generation or business success can come close to my newly developed heart-felt connection I now have with my family!

From a social perspective…this is another wow. Rather than being too busy for my friends and extended family, I now take the time to make phone calls or sit down for a coffee and a chat. I also plan activities with friends rather than meet for a drink at a bar! And to my surprise (not really) I have ultimately established much deeper and more meaningful relationships. My friends now are people that truly know me and I truly know them – it’s a miracle. I can’t believe I’ve lived so long without having deeper connections! Heck – you don’t know what you don’t know.

And from a community perspective, I’ve started to reach out to my neighbours and already amazing things have happened. We’ve lived in our current house for 2 years and have barely said anything to anyone. Now…we make dinner for an elderly gentleman and I’ve joined a running club with another neighbour. I purposely stop and shoot the breeze with people whereas in the past I would have just moved to the other side of the street and ploughed on by.

Once you get out into the stream of life and live through your heart (even if you don’t know what that means to start off with) things happen.

I’m really living now and miracles are happening every day. Gosh…I’m very grateful.

So what are my message for today?

If you’re not happy with your journey through life or feel it can be better…then there are things you can do to make it better! When I started out I had no idea what to do so I just read self-help/spiritual/new consciousness books and slowly started to take action. I started to meditate, I started to question myself about my values…I started to talk to others about their thoughts. For the past several months I didn’t think I was getting anywhere…so don’t believe that one day you wake up happy…it seems to happen gradually.
At times you’ll get lost, have fears and freak out a bit, but that’s totally normal (as I’ve read and experience for myself)
When and if you get really pissed off, ask the universe for help – you never know what might happen.

One last thing…as I always say, ‘you don’t know what you don’t know.’ I had no idea what it felt like to spend quality time with my family. For me, work was my entire life. I suppose I decided to try out being a family woman…and while taking a test drive, I discovered that family is more important to me that working 80 hours a week. The key is to do things differently…try out new ways of living. Test out different thoughts to think. These small things all add up and before you know it, you’re on a different, more enjoyable path.

Smiles, x

Universe – I need help. Please send me a sign or a teacher or something!

Posted on March 3, 2012 by Kim

I’m annoyed at everything right now. I feel like I’ve done quite a few things to help me enjoy my journey but as usual I am going through yet another phase of feeling lost and frustrated. Things certainly are not flowing for me right now – in fact, it seems as if everything is wrong.

I now know why I’ve spent years in the rat race…it’s easier to distract yourself by doing something even if that something isn’t your true calling! Living each day without knowing where you’re going sucks! It’s scary and I seem to oscillate between feeling great and empowered to feeling like a speck of dirt stuck to a shoe sole via a piece of tasteless discarded gum.

To embrace living from my heart and find out who I really am and what I really want I’ve left the world of full time employment (I quit working at my companies), have read spiritual/self-help books, enrolled myself in weekly therapy, meditate daily, openly express myself to friends and through my blog, spend loads of time with my daughter (22 months old)…I’ve worked on eliminating outdated beliefs, installing more positive beliefs…I’ve discovered that I have a relationship with myself and I’m now happy to call me a friend. And on and on.

But I’m now more lost than ever. It pains me to say this, but I actually think I don’t like business and I fear that I don’t want to ever run another business again. I’m scared of this feeling because if I don’t do business (or marketing) what the heck will I do?

Ever since I left employment I’ve been dabbling in consultancy, meeting with my business network, brainstorming new book ideas and I have a few business ideas up my sleeve too. But increasingly I just don’t want to have anything to do with any of it.

I don’t know if I’m being flippant or if my true calling is outside the realm of the business world? I’m afraid that I don’t really have a true calling. I fear I’m doomed to watch the world from the side-lines always enjoying momentary bits and pieces but never feeling the urge to submerse my creative self fully into something that allows me to express true passion.

My mojo is gone and I have no idea where I might find it. I fear that I have to do the unthinkable – I’m afraid that I have to say goodbye to business/marketing (for now) and get out into the world and try different things to find out where my true calling might be hiding. Double Yikes ;(

Yes – I’m good at business and I’m very good at marketing. But what I’ve realised is that being good at something and it being your true calling are not the same thing. For me, doing business is a way to spend my days…but it’s not a very rewarding way. Or…at least, it’s not rewarding anymore.

I want to help make the world a better place. I want to inspire, love and unleash some sort of creative expression. I’ve worked my butt off to achieve what most people long for – money. Well, let me save you some time. When you pursue money for the sake of money only (and when you get the money) you will eventually realise that it’s definitely not the answer to a fulfilling life.

If you’re not enjoying the journey you need to figure out what’s wrong and that is what I’m doing. I haven’t found the answer yet, but perhaps I’m just going through the storm before the calm?

Universe – yes you, Universe…I’m here! Can’t you see me? I’m ready…will you please send me an opportunity, a sign or a teacher. Will you please send me something so that I have some sort of clue as to what I should be doing?

Rant over (for now).

Big love,

Kim

Do you think that you ‘should’ be a kinder person? Here’s how…

Posted on February 21, 2012 by Kim

If being kind doesn’t come easy to you or if you feel this nagging thought that you should be kinder, I might know what your issue is. Let me explain a recent epiphany of mine and perhaps it might strike a chord with you:

Throughout my life I’ve always thought, “I must work harder at being a better, kinder person.” Or I’d think, “I should give more to charity or do some volunteer work.” I must and I should… hmmmmm? Shouldn’t giving be natural – shouldn’t I just want to do it? More ‘should’s’!

I’m not a mean person at all but I can’t say that I’ve been naturally kind either. Why is that? Was I born a bad egg?

Looking back over my life, when I did give kindness I usually had an ulterior motive. I might give my husband more attention than usual, but I’d be buttering him up for my request to have a girls only weekend away. Sometimes I used kindness to get what I wanted and other times I used it as a weapon. For example, I would ‘kill people with kindness’ – those that were mean or rude. And while I’m thinking of it…I would also deploy ‘Kind Kim’ out of a sense of duty. If there was an elderly person or pregnant woman, I would hold the door for them. I didn’t do it to be kind; I did it to follow the ’rules’ of belonging to a social society.

I didn’t know what it felt like to be kind for the sake of just being kind.

When you don’t know what you don’t know…you just don’t know it. I grew up in an atmosphere where guilt and manipulation ran the family. I was taught by my role models to get as much as you can from as many people as you can. Scarcity was rampant – we had no money…life’s a bitch and then you die.

This whole kindness thing was something I read about in books. Out of the thousands of self-help and spiritual books I’ve read I kept coming across guru’s spouting out that ‘what you give out, you get back.’ I read over and over that the key to happiness is to give unconditionally. ‘Unconditionally’ – well, how the heck was I supposed to figure out how to do that?

So this is where all the ‘shoulds’ and ‘must-do’s’ came in. For years I would force myself to be kind and pretend there was no other motive…but I certainly had a motive. My motive was that if I give I’ll get something back.

Recently I had my “ah-ha” moment about giving. The penny has finally dropped. I found the missing piece of the puzzle.

You can’t give kindness ‘unconditionally’ if you are not first and foremost kind to yourself.

This has been a massive learning experience for me. All my life I thought that everyone had ulterior motives to being kind and I was just like everyone else. I thought that that was the way the world worked. I thought that being kind was about doing what you should do…not doing something that came naturally.

Since I’ve left the corporate world, enrolled in weekly therapy, started meditating every day and have opened my heart to a better way of enjoying the journey miracles have happened.

I discovered that I had a relationship with myself. That alone still freaks me out. When you beat yourself up or berate yourself for making mistakes, that’s you talking to you. All day, every day, we talk to ourselves and most of us are not very nice. Well…I was not nice to me at all – I told myself I was worthless, ugly, unlovable, stupid (you get the picture).

Through my transition away from a predominantly work-focused life, I not only realised I had a relationship with myself, but I’m proud to announce that me and me are very happy with each other now. I actually love myself. (Yes…saying that kind of thing does make me feel a bit silly, but that’s okay!)

And because I patched things up with me, I’ve been so kind to myself. Rather than work 80 hours/week, I work 20 now. Instead of working on projects that I don’t like, I only say yes to work that has purpose and value to me. Rather than avoid breakfast, I take the time to nourish my body. Instead of drinking wine too often I now have it on special occasions or when I feel like a treat. Rather than put work first I now put me and my family/friends as top priority. (This paragraph could go on and on…the changes in my life have been unbelievable).

I’ve discovered that when you have a good relationship with you, you want to take care of you. I didn’t know how to do that. And if I wasn’t kind to me, how could I possibly understand what the guru’s were talking about when they said, ‘kindness is the only way?’

So…if you think you ‘should’ be a kinder person perhaps you need to start with being kinder to you first. From what I’ve experienced thus far, the kinder I am to me, the more my kindness seems to spread to everyone else around me. And the great thing about ‘Kind Kim’ now is that I genuinely enjoy being kind for absolutely no reason.

Amen.

When you have leftovers do you offer to give them to an elderly neighbour?

Posted on February 14, 2012 by Kim

As I walk through my neighbourhood every morning on the way to my coffee shop, I smile and wave to anyone on the street. Every once in a while I’ll stop to chat to someone about a recent neighbourhood drama (a police chase once ended near our house when a car hit a brick wall) but we all seem to keep to ourselves.

A long time ago people use to be much more community based. They would share what they didn’t need and request help when they needed it. Now – we all seem to spend time in our individual boxes, buying our things separately and wishing we had things that we don’t have.

For example, our sewer backed up and rather than ask the neighbours if they had anything to help, my husband went to the local hardware store and spend £40 on long bendy pipes that twist together. The money spent is one thing…but think about the storage too. For the rest of our lives, we’ll have a silly ‘snake’ in our garage and probably never use it again. Ironically, not long after my hubby started to clear the blockage, a neighbour came down to say that he could have lent us his ‘snake’.

And when you think about things like left overs – surely there’s people around that would prefer a home-cooked meal? No one in my family will eat something that is left over for the next day so we throw away loads of food. I’m sure there’s an elderly couple or widow that would give anything to have a nice homemade meal. Or what about a single new mum? They’re lucky to get a bowl of cereal in-between feedings and sleep.

We have loads of crap all over our house that I’m sure people would make better use of. Heck – I’ve had a juicer in my cupboard for 9 years and have used it twice. We also have a spray washer, tools for everything, sanders…I think we even have a table saw! When will we ever use that?

Imagine the amount of money that could be saved. Rather than buy a gadget to solve a problem (a sewer snake) or spend hard earned money on something you decide is too hard to clean (juicer) you can borrow others.

Think of the community feeling we could bring back if we worked with our neighbours to offer what we don’t use and on the flip side, request what we need. When I need to paint a room perhaps I could borrow a spray painter? When a neighbour wants to do a slow cooker meal, they could borrow one of my 3 slow cookers! And what about gardeners – they often have a surplus of plants or vegetables…Rather than me spending a fortune at the local garden centre I could help a gardener with their extras.

Every day I become more and more annoyed at how isolated we (as a race) have become. New parents need help, the elderly could use company, dual income parents might want a night out or teenagers might want to earn some extra money doing odd jobs. All these issues could be solved if we just got out and worked with each other.

If we could offer our time, expertise, and unused stuff in return for other peoples time, expertise and unused stuff I seriously think our lives would be more robust, have more value and allow us to develop much more meaningful lives.

I actually think that the journey through life would be improved – every study done on good health and longevity comes down to having quality relationships and solid friend networks.

My issue – I’m too afraid to start a revolution. I’m too afraid to go to my neighbour and ask him if he wants my leftovers. I’m too afraid to offer my marketing services. I’m too afraid to talk to people in my own neighbourhood.

Perhaps I could create a list of things we have that are available to borrow or have…and do a letter drop down my street. I wonder if it would spark off others to do the same?

Anyway – what do you think?

Big smiles,

Kim

A Meditation MP3 That Works – I feel more relaxed, happier and I’ve stopped freaking out so much

Posted on February 10, 2012 by Kim

For years I’ve been listening to guided meditations. Sometimes I’ll listen to a couple every week and other times I’ll go months without. On the 30th of January I purchased Glenn Harrolds “528Hz Solfeggio Meditation CD & MP3 Download – Transform Your Life, Repair DNA and Create Miracles” and as suggested have been listening to it every day.

I’m now on my 12th day as Glenn suggests you do it every day for 21 days. I’m not one to do anything consistently so I’m very surprised that I’ve kept this up. The guided meditation is easy-going, relaxing and quite peaceful. With some mediations I feel that I have to pay attention and get tired…with this one I actually look forward to it as it truly provides a daily mini holiday.

During some sessions my brain is too active and I think of ideas or stuff happening on the day. Other days I fall asleep. And sometimes the mediation seems to go very well – I fall into a deep relaxation, listen to almost everything Glenn says and really sync myself into the experience. I’ve learned that with meditation you can’t have any expectations – it is what it is.

Anyway – I was attracted to this meditation because it uses ‘sound therapy’. In other words, the sounds within the music are supposed to cause an effect on your mind/body – not just the guided mediation.

The CD/MP3 uses sounds according to the ancient solfeggio music scale. Apparently, each note within the scale has healing properties. The one used within this particular one resonates to the frequency of 528hz. By listening to sound at this frequency you’re supposed to be able to heal broken DNA and experience healing on all levels – emotions, spiritual, mental and physical. Furthermore, listening is supposed to bring you relief from anxiety, fatigue, control issues and helps to get rid of negative thinking. Heck – that can’t be bad! Additionally, the mediation can help you create miracles. Yes please!

To get more information on this particular CD and the solfeggio scale, read more here: http://www.hypnosisaudio.com/cds-downloads-528-solfeggio-meditation.htm

(Also – I’m almost positive that this MP3 can be found at the App store and it costs much less than the MP3/CD)

In addition to doing my 528hz meditation every day I also have been using an App I found on my Ipad2 App Store – Brainwave. This very inexpensive app has 25 binaural programs. You can listen to rain and thunder, ocean waves, a flowing creek and many other natural sounds. In the background tones are being played at different hz in each ear. When listening to the pre-set tones it causes the brain to go into different states. The app has frequencies to induce deep sleep, have a power nap, reduce stress, get a motivation boost, think critically, concentrate and many more.

It’s freaky stuff, but I totally notice a difference. I don’t think it’s a placebo effect either. I did the deep sleep binaural program last night and my husband said I was unconscious. He had to turn the TV up because I was snoring…I don’t snore! Moreover – I can’t sleep with the TV on!!!

This sound stuff is interesting. Often I don’t believe in things but give them a go anyway. Well – I’ve been pleasantly surprised with this stuff. So – if you’re looking to enjoy your journey through life more, give these things a go and see what you think.

Woooooo wooo wo. Big smiles, KIM

Enjoying The Journey

To demonstrate that it’s possible to make your journey through life more enjoyable

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