Tag Archives: Being conscious

Feel peaceful, relaxed and happy in 30 seconds – Easy feel-good exercise

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I don’t believe in quick fixes but this little feel-good exercise had a profound physical and mental effect on me.

Take two minutes, try it out and if it doesn’t work all you’ve lost is a small bit of time.  If, however, it does work you might have a new tool to add to your box that will help you to enjoy your journey more.

Instant feel-good exercise – use to reduce/eliminate stress, clear your mind, un-shrug your shoulders or to simply feel good:

1. Close your eyes

2. Pay attention to your thoughts for a few seconds

3. Consciously say to yourself, ‘what will my next thought be?’ or ‘Where will my next thought come from?’

Give this a go for a minute before reading on.

Once you ask your mind a question about your next thought there will be a small gap where there is no thought…where there is nothing.  It might be a millisecond or it could be 3-4 seconds.  I doesn’t matter how long it is.

After the gap, thoughts will start to come in again.  Once you realise that you are thinking, pay attention to the thoughts and once again ask ‘what will my next thought be?’

This exercise will cause you to have gaps in your thoughts.  By creating gaps in your thoughts it gives yourself a break from the incessant ruminations, thoughts, ideas, fears and worries.  That little break causes your body and mind to relax into the most amazingly peaceful place.

The cool thing is that you can do this for 30 seconds and feel the effects… You don’t have to sit in a corner of the room for an hour trying not to think.

Give this a go and let me know what you think!

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It’s not what happens to you but rather what you do about it that matters

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In other words…stop blaming other people for your issues and choose to take responsibility for your life!

This is such a profound bit of wisdom yet why can’t most people (including me) keep this in the forefront of our mind?

Actually, perhaps I need to change that question…why can’t we keep it in mind when our reactions cause us to get upset?

Last night my husband was getting money out of an ATM and two drunk guys tried to pick a fight.  Thankfully my hubby brushed them off and we carried on our way.  In the past I would have let the whole incident bother me, but I made a conscious thought that went something like this: “they’re drunk and they don’t know what they’re doing.”  I quickly forgot about the whole thing and I didn’t get upset.

So – this is what happened:  Something not-so-nice happened; I chose to react in a way that acknowledged the incident and then enabled me to move on without causing any emotional upheaval.

Now…my question to you is why can’t most of us do that for every not-so-nice thing that occurs?  If we could train ourselves to realise that no one is to blame and choose to react to any situation in a way that we want then we will be in control over our emotional state.

Sounds simple, but when you need that kind of thought process the most, it seems to disappear.

Perhaps I can learn from watching other people…When I’m ‘forced’ to get in the car with my father-in-law I have to endure his road rage.  No matter where we go all other drivers are too slow, incompetent or idiots.  He gets worked up, yells nasty things and you can see his blood pressure rise.

When I see him act this way I look at him like he’s a moron – to me, it’s as clear as day that it’s his reaction to the world that is causing the upset…not the other drivers.

I’m just as bad as my father-in-law but thankfully I’m not triggered by other drivers.  My triggers are ????

  • Bullies – when I see someone bullying someone else I really get worked up and if I’m not careful I become a bully to the bullier – not good.
  • Incompetence – it drives me up a wall when people don’t do something to the best of their ability.
  • Laziness – I can’t handle it when people complain about their situation and then do nothing about it.  That’s a massive trigger for me.
  • Pushiness – If I’m in a queue and someone pushes me I fill up with serious anger.  I have no idea where it comes from but I will snap at someone if they invade my personal space!

Wow…I’ve really learned something about myself today.  Those are just a few of my triggers – I don’t think I’ve ever contemplated what triggers me to get upset before.

So – the question now is how can I choose to react to bullies, or incompetent, lazy or pushy people?  I don’t know the answer to that.  Perhaps now that I’m more conscious of the fact that those are triggers I can choose to react rather than function on autopilot?

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Keep asking yourself – does this task, activity or journey feel right?

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This whole concept about being conscious of my thoughts and feelings is amazing.  Rather than getting stuck into something and spending weeks (and dare I say years) on autopilot I’m starting to question the value of my journey each day and sometimes every hour.

When I get a funny feeling that things aren’t right, I’ve started to contemplate what’s causing the feeling.  I tell myself that the feelings are an internal reaction to something.  Rather than blame someone or something for the funny feeling I investigate and often find that I’m doing something that doesn’t match up with my values.

For example, yesterday I was requested to attend a meeting where I would have to pretend to be committed, enthusiastic and even visionary.  After the request came through I felt a knot in my stomach, my shoulders started to tense and I felt ‘funny’.  At first, I blamed the person who asked me to attend the meeting.

But after sleeping on it things I realised that the issue was inside me – pretending to be someone I’m not goes against my values.  Once I realised what the real issue was, I simply told the guy running the meeting that I’m happy to do it but I’m not going to be committed, enthusiastic or visionary.  He can then make the decision if he wants me there or not.

And lately…while I’m working on a project I’ll ask myself, ‘Kim – are you enjoying this?’  The answer isn’t always yes – the task may not be enjoyable, but there’s often value in it and I can make a conscious decision to carry on doing it (or not).

Again – I keep coming back to the same conclusion.  Enjoying the journey doesn’t mean that I’m happy every second of the day.  It means that I’m conscious of what I’m doing and I am choosing to do or not do tasks according to my feelings and values.

I once read in a book that feelings are a guidance system – they tell you if you’re going off-course.  I finally understand this concept!  If you can pay attention to how you feel…and if you’re not feeling right…there’s something going on that needs to be looked at.

Anyhooooooo, do you periodically ask yourself if you’re enjoying your journey throughout the day?

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