Tag Archives: Being present

How to find more enjoyment with your children

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I love my daughter more than anything else in this world and that includes me!  When I was pregnant I stopped drinking alcohol, gave up my crack cocaine habit (just joking  – I don’t do drugs – heheeheh), I ate vegetables and drank my 6 glasses of water every day.  I relaxed and made sure I was feeling calm so to provide the best womb experience possible… (yes – this is the world of Kim that’s writing right now).

And now that my daughter is a little being (17 months) I’ve been working hard to understand child development.  I don’t want to be a parent that spoils their child but I don’t believe in tough love either.

Anyhoooo…parenthood is freaking hard work!

No matter how good a parent you want to be it’s often impossible to understand what the heck kids are thinking or feeling.  I have however noticed one thing that seems to work and I want to share this with you.

I’ve found that I can’t plan anything with my daughter – I have to simply go with the flow.  If she’s in a good mood I go with it and laugh, play and make sure I’m totally focused on the present moment (now).  If her teeth are bothering her or she has a cold I cuddle her or work to distract her from her issues – and of course, I make sure I’m in the now with her.

It seems that the more present I am (the more in the now that I am) – the more I let go of what I should be doing or what should be happening the calmer she is…and the more peaceful I am.

And my job is not to make my child happy – my job is to support her wherever she is.   In order to support her best, I need to let go of everything else that’s in my head and go with the flow.

So…if you’re looking for more enjoyment in the area of children, be present with them and see what happens – to both them and you!

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The Secret of Quantum Living by Frank Kinslow (Book Review)

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If you enjoyed ‘The Power of Now,’ by Eckhart Tolle then this is another book to add to your reading list.

And don’t let the title scare you – it’s not one of those books that spends a few chapters diving into quantum mechanics leaving you bewildered!

Within The Secret of Quantum Living, Mr Kinslow explains how to practice Quantum Entrainment (QE).  The author states that by doing QE you will be able to:

  • heal negative emotions
  • find more creativity
  • heal physical pain
  • improve atheletic performance
  • have better relationships
  • sleep better
  • avoid financial woes
  • and more!

Additionally, Mr Kinslow highlights the advantages of teaching your children on how to practice QE.  (As you may know, I have a 16 month old so I’m very interested in teaching her to stay connected with her true self – whatever that means).

Anyway – I read a lot of books and to me, the true test is whether or not I can relate the information to my life and ultimately improve how I think, feel and live.  Hands down I can say that The Secret of Quantum Living has positively impacted my life.

I’ve always had issues with meditation.  I’m fine with guided mediations where I listen to a CD or MP3 but when it comes to sitting still and trying not to think I lose the plot.  Within a few minutes I’m thinking of something or other and forget that I’m supposed to be meditating!  In the end all I do is spend 15 – 20 minutes thinking about things in the same way I normally do with no positive results.  Drives me nuts.

Well…after reading the very easy instructions on how to practice Quantum Entrainment I finally understood what mediation was all about.  The best way for me to explain QE is that it’s a method that teaches you how to stop your thoughts and allow the feeling of bliss to arise in your body.

It doesn’t make any sense, but when you stop your thoughts and experience nothing there is a really awesome feeling that comes from it.  The author calls these feelings ‘Eufeelings’ and thanks to him for giving it a name!  By naming the feeling I was able to notice it and bring it into my reality.  Before I may have noticed that I felt good but the shear act of naming the feeling has made it so much easier to stop my thoughts and feel the bliss.

Right – this is one of those things where I can write all sorts of things but you have to try it for yourself to experience it.

If you want more peace in your life or are looking to heal physical mental wounds, I would definitely read this book.

In addition to the book, you can also find a large and growing community that discuss their QE experiences, questions and feedback.  Check out the forum at:  http://www.qediscussions.com/qesimplemachinesforum/index.php

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Feel peaceful, relaxed and happy in 30 seconds – Easy feel-good exercise

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I don’t believe in quick fixes but this little feel-good exercise had a profound physical and mental effect on me.

Take two minutes, try it out and if it doesn’t work all you’ve lost is a small bit of time.  If, however, it does work you might have a new tool to add to your box that will help you to enjoy your journey more.

Instant feel-good exercise – use to reduce/eliminate stress, clear your mind, un-shrug your shoulders or to simply feel good:

1. Close your eyes

2. Pay attention to your thoughts for a few seconds

3. Consciously say to yourself, ‘what will my next thought be?’ or ‘Where will my next thought come from?’

Give this a go for a minute before reading on.

Once you ask your mind a question about your next thought there will be a small gap where there is no thought…where there is nothing.  It might be a millisecond or it could be 3-4 seconds.  I doesn’t matter how long it is.

After the gap, thoughts will start to come in again.  Once you realise that you are thinking, pay attention to the thoughts and once again ask ‘what will my next thought be?’

This exercise will cause you to have gaps in your thoughts.  By creating gaps in your thoughts it gives yourself a break from the incessant ruminations, thoughts, ideas, fears and worries.  That little break causes your body and mind to relax into the most amazingly peaceful place.

The cool thing is that you can do this for 30 seconds and feel the effects… You don’t have to sit in a corner of the room for an hour trying not to think.

Give this a go and let me know what you think!

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Keep asking yourself – does this task, activity or journey feel right?

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This whole concept about being conscious of my thoughts and feelings is amazing.  Rather than getting stuck into something and spending weeks (and dare I say years) on autopilot I’m starting to question the value of my journey each day and sometimes every hour.

When I get a funny feeling that things aren’t right, I’ve started to contemplate what’s causing the feeling.  I tell myself that the feelings are an internal reaction to something.  Rather than blame someone or something for the funny feeling I investigate and often find that I’m doing something that doesn’t match up with my values.

For example, yesterday I was requested to attend a meeting where I would have to pretend to be committed, enthusiastic and even visionary.  After the request came through I felt a knot in my stomach, my shoulders started to tense and I felt ‘funny’.  At first, I blamed the person who asked me to attend the meeting.

But after sleeping on it things I realised that the issue was inside me – pretending to be someone I’m not goes against my values.  Once I realised what the real issue was, I simply told the guy running the meeting that I’m happy to do it but I’m not going to be committed, enthusiastic or visionary.  He can then make the decision if he wants me there or not.

And lately…while I’m working on a project I’ll ask myself, ‘Kim – are you enjoying this?’  The answer isn’t always yes – the task may not be enjoyable, but there’s often value in it and I can make a conscious decision to carry on doing it (or not).

Again – I keep coming back to the same conclusion.  Enjoying the journey doesn’t mean that I’m happy every second of the day.  It means that I’m conscious of what I’m doing and I am choosing to do or not do tasks according to my feelings and values.

I once read in a book that feelings are a guidance system – they tell you if you’re going off-course.  I finally understand this concept!  If you can pay attention to how you feel…and if you’re not feeling right…there’s something going on that needs to be looked at.

Anyhooooooo, do you periodically ask yourself if you’re enjoying your journey throughout the day?

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Is it possible to manually turn your thought process on and off

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I wonder if it’s possible to manually turn your thought process on and off?  I spent the entire weekend not thinking about my businesses because I’ve mentally detached myself from them.  Why couldn’t I do that when I was engaged with the companies?

This weekend was rather interesting…My hubby was away and I had my daughter, S, for two full days.  You might think that’s no big deal, but I’m the worker in our household.  I’m use to waking S up, giving her food and then going off to work to support the family.

Staying home alone with a 15 month old for two whole days is hard freakin’ work!  I seriously don’t know how single mums or dads do it.

Right…It’s not the first time that I’ve looked after S for a couple days, however it’s the first time that I was fully present while looking after.  There’s a big difference between thinking about work while playing with a child and simply playing with a child for the sake of playing!

I can’t help but think, ‘what the heck have I been doing all these years?’  My thoughts have been so far removed from my live life.  What I mean is that I’ve been going through the motions of looking after S (amongst other things) but not being present.

What a tragic mistake!  All I can say is thankfully I’ve discovered my wrong thinking now and not when I’m 80.

Anyway, now that I’ve made the clear decision to leave my companies I don’t have the constant thoughts flooding my head.  I don’t have to worry about an employee that I need to dismiss or a boring drawn out management meeting or having to come up with some sort of strategy to get buy-in over something.

So…throughout the weekend I kept feeling this odd sensation – it’s as if my brain was telling me, ‘Kim…you should be thinking about the businesses…oh yeah – you don’t need to think about them.  Carry on enjoying what you are doing.’

It’s like entering summer break after leaving university.  You have this overwhelming urge to get your homework done and then you realise that there is no more homework.

Fortunately, I was able to be present and blow bubbles (and help pop them), read ‘The Ladybird that never said a word,’ (8 times), squeeze myself into an indoor kiddie playground (with S and 15 other toddlers), have a water war in the tub (I won), and see who would win a very important race – Thomas The Tank Engine vs The Bus (Thomas won).

Additionally, for the first time in 14 years I went to lunch with my father-in-law.  We had a great time – surprise, surprise!

What the heck is going on?  I feel like I’m in some sort of matrix type thing where I took the red pill rather than the blue pill.  It’s like I’ve woken up from a bad dream to find that life and the journey is incredible…but it’s only incredible if you brain & heart are at the same place at the same time.

So, I’ll ask the question again, is it possible to manually turn your thought process on and off? Going forward, how can I ensure I don’t get caught up in work so much that I miss the present?

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