Freedom is an interesting concept and has many levels.  I never thought that much about it before, but most of us are free to do as we wish (within the law of the land).  We can choose whom we want to marry, what we do for a living, and where we live.  We can move around freely without restraint.

There is a percentage of the populous that is incarcerated for crimes against society.  So too, are there people who live in political cultures that do not value the freedom of its people.  Nevertheless the majority of the people in the world live in relative freedom.

The freedoms I talk about however are physical freedoms.  What about our freedom to think? Or our freedom over what we believe?

Many people operate in a “prison like” atmosphere. This prison does not exist on the physical plane.  Rather, it is a creation of the mind.  It is manufactured from an individual’s belief system.  These beliefs become people’s jailers.

Most people will tell you that they can think for themselves.  To suggest that they are incapable of creating their own ideas is met with an overwhelming attitude to the contrary.  All their success, experiences, and intelligence give a sense of independence.  They mistakenly believe that their belief systems is of their own making.  Unfortunately for them, it is not.

A fundamental concept to creating the life that you desire is to create a belief system that works for you. 

Contrary to what most people want to believe, our belief systems are shaped by the influences around us.  Teachers, parents, friends, co-workers, and institutions all have input into the beliefs that we live by.  Some of those beliefs are ‘good’ and some are ‘not-so-good.’ Some of the beliefs will help us enjoy our journey and some will make our travels miserable.

Have you ever noticed how children’s ideas often reflect those of their parents?  This is so common that political organisations in America poll school children during Presidential elections because they accurately reflect the sentiment of the adults.

The governments of the world are masters at shaping the belief system of its people.  Through the use of propaganda, public opinion is swayed based upon the desires of those in power.  This is often done in the name of nationalism.  A group of people is established as a threat to the society.  Events are shown to validate this viewpoint while creating the emotional dislike towards that group.  Thus, the government is free to act as it see fit with the full support of its people.  Unfortunately, most people do not have first-hand experience to form a solid conclusion.  Of course, they will defend their belief even though they are not certain where it came from.

It is common for people and organizations to manipulate other’s beliefs for the sake of control.  The government is one example.  Some religions throughout history have acted in a similar manner.  They used threat of an angry Deity and eternal damnation to control the masses.  There were numerous instances where the Church of England was the most powerful organization in Europe.  With a following that is under control, it is much easier to maintain influence.  Naturally, there are many denominations where this is not the case.  So, too, are their many people whose lives are enhanced by their religious affiliation.  Unfortunately, this is not true in all instances.

The key to a belief systems is creating one that works for you. 

I’ve written quite a bit about this lately but I really want to spread the message.  The beliefs you hold have been given to you – you have the freedom to choose whether you keep them or send them away but unless you know about this freedom it’s possible that you may be living in an internal prison.

As an adult, you have the freedom to believe anything that you desire.  Spending time questioning where some of your beliefs came from is healthy.  It is also effective to determine whether they still work for you.  If they assist you into being happy, joyous, and free, then they are worthwhile.

However, when your beliefs instil pain, perhaps it is time to rethink them and perhaps remove them!

Ironically, the beliefs that seem to cause the most chaos in people’s lives come from those who love us the most.  Many individuals suffer from psychological disorders due to the influences of their parents.  Things such as low self-esteem, abandonment, and sexual issues all come from our upbringing.  Typically, one who suffers from any of these was made to feel guilty and shameful.  Their worth was shown to be tied to their performance which never was good enough.  Mistakes were not forgiven but something to be used as a weapon to make the other feel worse.  All this was done as a form of control.

And as I always state – you can’t blame your parents because they did what their parents did to them and backwards up the genetic line.  Our ancestors did the best they could, but times have changed and are seriously changing.

Now, reflect on a child that grew up in a dysfunctional family and then leap forward 20-30 years and you find that the person still carries beliefs that’s are messed up.  Even though adult experiences will prove to the contrary, the individual still hears the words of the parent.

It affects the relationships with friends, lovers, co-workers, and oneself.  Without some help, the person is often incapable of healthy interaction with others.  There is a degree of sickness in all that is done.  Thus, the individual turns to other things to fill that void that exists whether it is drugs, alcohol, sex, work or food.

However, if the belief system was viewed as problematic, the person might be apt to change it.  Simply altering a few of the basic beliefs one holds regarding oneself miraculously changes life.

I’m sure you’ve come across people that thought they were ‘stupid’ or had ‘bad luck’ yet you could see their intelligence or all the good luck they could experience.

The more that we can accept that some of our beliefs were installed by others, the better our chances are of taking a look at them and saying – ‘wait a second…that belief is not good for me – I need to remove it.

There are many things that were taught to us by others growing up which serve us well.  This is especially true if we were raised in a loving home.  However, quite a few of us grew up in an environment that wasn’t full of unconditional love and abundance.  If this is the case, it’s very probably that there is much that stands in our way of happiness.

Analysing our belief system gets to the root of what motivates us.  Beliefs that contains a great deal of fear will cause one to often act out of that fear.  The opposite is also true.  To create ‘our’ life, it begins with creating ‘our’ own belief system.

Have you ever taken time to review your beliefs? Do you know what beliefs are operating in your life right now? Do you know if you have any crappy beliefs that create havoc in your life?

At first I found it very difficult to uncover my beliefs, but I learned what I needed to look for.  When I look at my reality I can now make educated guesses as to what must be going on in the little head of Kim. Further – since I’m going through ‘The Homecoming’ work (read blog article) I’ve been analysing significant things that happened when I was child; things that could have lodged a ‘bad’ belief in my head.

Beliefs are like little programs that get installed and run unnoticed in the background.  You don’t actually know that they’re running and that’s what makes them very powerful.  Too powerful if you ask me. Furthermore beliefs are not absolute – there is not a set of ‘good’ beliefs and ‘bad’ beliefs – there are only beliefs that help or hinder you on the path you want to take.

Okay – I hope I’m not losing you.  Let me give you an example of a crappy belief that I’ve recently discovered about myself.  My thinking is this – if I can discover some ‘bad’ beliefs perhaps I can change them and by doing so I can change my reality (for the better).

Kim’s ‘Bad’ Belief – and example

Right – it’s usually an exception that people meet or exceed my expectations.  And that’s not because I have high standards!  I have discovered that I carry the following belief: people will disappoint me.

Looking over my early childhood years there were many incidents where I was very disappointed. I was either promised something and then it never happened, or I would try my best to do the right thing, but no matter how hard I tried, I was wrong.  I remember saying often, ‘But that’s not fair,’ and my parents would say, ‘Kim – life isn’t fair!’ I don’t think I was very old before I felt a shear disappointment with life in general.

Why the heck would anyone want to be born into this crappy world? I always thought – why? What’s the point?

I look back at little Kim and see this little girl so full of excitement and enthusiasm.  Excited to go play miniature golf, play a game or go to the pictures only to be told at the last minute we weren’t going to go.  I remember getting a Big Wheel (little bike) when I was 3 or 4. I was so very excited – I couldn’t wait to take it out for a spin.  It had a little speaker on it that made a siren noise.  I thought I was going to be the coolest kid on the block.

I sat on my Big Wheel, ready to take my first spin, and a neighbour kid came over and punched my siren.  It worked for 5 seconds and then it was broke.  When I asked my dad to fix it, he said it was broke and there was nothing that could be done.  My heart sunk and I felt absolute despair and total disappointment.

<Yes – this story is rather silly when you look at it as an adult, but as a kid my world shattered at that moment and I’ve carried that feeling with me ever since!>

So I grew up thinking that life was one big disappointment.  The best chance for any kind of fulfilment was to do things by myself…If I do things by myself than I won’t have to be disappointed. Well…I’m not an island.  And I can’t do everything by myself, so I’ve created ways that have shielded me from disappointments.

I hear you asking what kind of reality do I have because of that belief?  Well…I closed the majority of my heart off because I don’t want it to get hurt. I don’t want someone to tell me they love me (and me to believe them) because they’ll eventually say they don’t.  I don’t ask anyone to help me (too much) because I know they won’t – or if they do, they’ll do a crap job. I lower my standards so that I can avoid being disappointed but then feel guilty because I couldn’t set the appropriate expectation. This just perpetuates a cycle of low standards.

So…that’s a very powerful belief that is running in my mind.  It tarnishes everything I look at.  Do I need that belief?  Can I change that belief?

When I talk to friends, I’ve discovered that they don’t have that belief!  And if others don’t have it, perhaps I can remove it from my head.  Wouldn’t my life be totally different if I believed that people will met or exceeded my true expectations? Wouldn’t my life be irrevocable changed if I believed that people would do what they said?

In the book, ‘The Homecoming,’ the technique used to mend ‘bad’ beliefs is to visualise going back to your younger self and telling little you the positive beliefs that you would rather operate from.  Or perhaps I can envision my father fixing the Big Wheel siren.  There are also a whole slew of other therapies that focus on replacing disempowering beliefs with empowering ones – Emotional Freedom Technique, Theta Healing, Guided Mediations, Hypnosis and so forth.

I think that the biggest issue is to first find the ‘bad’ belief.  Simply knowing that it’s there must cause some sort of change.  For me, I’m going to continue with my ‘The Homecoming’ process knowing that it’s enabling me to enjoy my journey more and more.

[Disclaimer form Mom/Dad…if you read this, I’m not blaming you at all.  Your parents did the same to you and their parents to them.  You did the best you could with what you knew.]

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