There is no destination – you’re already there!

Posted on November 9, 2011 by Kim

A friend wrote the following to me yesterday,

“Something really odd happened last night: we had someone over for dinner – one of my partner’s friends. We were just chatting about all sorts of stuff, and then all of a sudden, mid-conversation, she dropped in this little gem… “It’s all about enjoying the journey”, she said.

Have you considered that maybe there is no destination? Like, you’re not sure where this is all going? But maybe that’s because you’re actually already there? The ‘destination’, surely, is ‘now’, isn’t it? So in that sense, the journey is historic – it’s already happened. Great news – you’ve arrived safely, Kim.”

Yes, yes, yes…my friend is so right! And he wrote it in such a fantastic way that I had to cut and paste it right into my blog. In fact, if I write anything else it will just detract from the above, so I leave today’s entry at that.

Smiles

Feel peaceful, relaxed and happy in 30 seconds – Easy feel-good exercise

Posted on September 16, 2011 by Kim

I don’t believe in quick fixes but this little feel-good exercise had a profound physical and mental effect on me.

Take two minutes, try it out and if it doesn’t work all you’ve lost is a small bit of time. If, however, it does work you might have a new tool to add to your box that will help you to enjoy your journey more.

Instant feel-good exercise – use to reduce/eliminate stress, clear your mind, un-shrug your shoulders or to simply feel good:

1. Close your eyes

2. Pay attention to your thoughts for a few seconds

3. Consciously say to yourself, ‘what will my next thought be?’ or ‘Where will my next thought come from?’

Give this a go for a minute before reading on.

Once you ask your mind a question about your next thought there will be a small gap where there is no thought…where there is nothing. It might be a millisecond or it could be 3-4 seconds. I doesn’t matter how long it is.

After the gap, thoughts will start to come in again. Once you realise that you are thinking, pay attention to the thoughts and once again ask ‘what will my next thought be?’

This exercise will cause you to have gaps in your thoughts. By creating gaps in your thoughts it gives yourself a break from the incessant ruminations, thoughts, ideas, fears and worries. That little break causes your body and mind to relax into the most amazingly peaceful place.

The cool thing is that you can do this for 30 seconds and feel the effects… You don’t have to sit in a corner of the room for an hour trying not to think.

Give this a go and let me know what you think!

Does waking up in the morning need to be a painful experience?

Posted on September 15, 2011 by Kim

If I was an alien I would wonder how humans manage to get out of bed in the morning.

People often cut you down; the world is about to blow up and no matter how hard you try you’ll never look/act in a manner that is accepted by all.

So – why do we get up?

Ultimately we get up because we wouldn’t survive if we lay in bed for days. We need to eat, drink water and so forth. For many people they get up because they must get up – the need to go to work to pay the bills. For others they have to go to school or look after children or whatever…

And yet there are some people that wake up and are excited. They jump out of bed and are eager to get their day started. They have a spark, an enthusiastic manner and a need to see what lies ahead.

I’ve had periods of my life where I jumped out of bed. It was great! But for the most part, I now wake up and think, ‘noooooooooooooooooooooo – not yet!’

Are my thoughts upon waking a realisation that my journey isn’t good enough to spur me out of bed? Actually, when I first wake, I think ‘no – not yet!’ but then within a few minutes I’m happy to get up. That wasn’t always the case – I remember days when I felt ill about getting out of bed. I really hated life so much that it was a battle to pull the covers off. Thankfully, I’m not in that space anymore.

But I do wonder if it’s possible to wake up and think, ‘yes – I’m going to get up and do things that I love to do and I’m going to do them all day!’

Last night I was watching ‘Science on Science’ on the Discovery Channel it there was a segment that started off with a woman singer. The woman was a singer by night and a scientist by day. And not only any scientist – she discovered a way to look for positive genetic code changes. What an amazing person!

And during the interview she explained that she was so lucky to spend each day and night doing what she absolutely loved. I bet she jumps out of bed in the morning!

Yes – my website is all about enjoying the journey…am I asking too much to enjoy waking up also? Of course not!

Enjoying the journey requires you to educate yourself

Posted on August 25, 2011 by Kim

Since the age of 18 I decided that there must be a better way. My life was terrible – I barely made it out of school. I was raised in a suburban family where everything look fine from the outside, but at home there were drugs, alcohol, affairs, the discovery of an illegitimate brother…it wasn’t nice.

After a long stint of depression and feeling sorry for myself I started to read books. I read every self-help book I could get my hands on…and then I stared to write in a journal each day. The books and my daily writing didn’t solve my issues or help me to become a happier person overnight. They did, however, help me to feel better while I was reading them so I found refuge for a ½ hour every day…but then real life would hit me between the eyes.

I often thought…when is all this education going to kick in? When will I finally be ‘fixed’?

Looking back, I’ve realised that all the books I’ve read and the time I invested in helping myself to feel better/be better have really paid off but it took quite a bit of time. I’ll never be perfect and I’m not sure I believe in Maslow’s self-actualisation stage…but I’m a million times better off than I was when I was younger. In fact, I can honestly say that each year I feel more confident, happier, healthier, wealthier and more successful than the year before.

And I’ve finally realised that I’ll never be ‘fixed’ because I’m not broken in the first place! Being human is all about ups and downs, success and failures, ebb and flow…

Saying all this…if you want to enjoy your journey more, you need to invest time in learning how to become a better/happier/healthier/wealthier person. To learn you can read, listen to audio books and there even DVD’s out there! There are also loads of classes and seminars.

The important thing is to realise that your journey won’t improve until you do something about it. Why not decide what it is you want most in life and go order a book to find out how to get it?

How can you get the miserable people in your life to freakin see the light?

Posted on August 23, 2011 by Kim

Over the past couple days a friend and I have been discussing the ‘shadow’ side of people. There are two guys we know that are absolutely fantastic guys. They are kind, caring and eager to share love and receive it.

But they also possess a side to them that is the complete opposite…they’re mean, bullish, selfish and go out to take whatever they can.

How can people have two extreme personalities? And does everyone possess this shadow side? Also – you know the saying, you have to have rainy days to enjoy the sunny ones…well, do you have to have a super bad side to your personality to have really positive side?

Reflecting on my personality…when I get pushed against a wall, I can become self-absorbed, selfish and unkind but it really doesn’t happen often. And when it does happen it’s usually the result of someone threatening me. But like I said…these traits are in me but rarely make an appearance.

So I believe that everyone has a shadow side as we live in a world of duality…but some people display it more often than others.

The people that display this side to them must feel threatened, scared or fearful. They are clearly not enjoying their journey which is really sad. Not only are they having a rough time but they also impact others around them.

I find this quite frustrating – it’s annoying to know that someone has the ability to shine, but is so caught up in fear that that their rays turn to dark beams of negativity. They are miserable and they then spread the misery…

What’s the solution? How do you get people that you care about to move away from fear?

I just want to shout – there’s another way! You don’t have to be miserable. You don’t have to be afraid but they won’t know what I’m on about.

Like most things, I suppose the best thing I can do is to lead by example. Let my light shine and hope they see that there’s another way.

How do you spend time designing your life to ensure your journey is a success?

Posted on August 20, 2011 by Kim

“Success is not a set of standards from our culture but rather a collection of personal values clearly defined and ultimately achieved.” Jim Rohn

For years I’ve had this idea about making ¼ page sized cards that represent the key things I want in my life – my core values. And on those cards, I’d have goals at the top, actions to achieve those goals and then some sort of frequency chart along the bottom outlining how often I need to schedule an action in to ensure I meet my goals.

The whole idea is to plan my day or week around the cards. So – perhaps on a Sunday, I can pull out my stack of 5 or 10 cards and then schedule actions throughout the week to ensure that each goal is being worked on. In theory…if I’m working towards something I deem worthwhile the actions should be as fulfilling as the end result (I hope).

This idea springs from a Richard Simmons (work-our guru) eating plan. I didn’t use the plan myself, but I was sucked into one of his infomercials thinking the concept was brilliant. He had some sort of folder full of veg, meat, carb cards and you planned your eating schedule around using up the cards. The whole concept was created to ensure that you were eating a balanced diet.

Right – back to my version of the card system…let me give you an example.

For my health card, my goals are quite generic, but worth striving for:

Feel balanced – my body, mind and spirit are all feeling good!
Have a good supply of energy
Be at peace with myself and the world

Then my actions to plan throughout the day or week to choose from could be:

Eat vegetables, fruit and meat/fish in its natural state (avoid processed food) for at least 2 meals/day
Drink water!
Yoga
Meditation
Exercise
Walks

For frequency, I would state on my card that I must schedule one or more of these actions in daily to ensure that my goals are met.

These things might seem simple to you, but for me they’re not a routine part of my life and therefore I don’t remember to do them!

Even drinking water – unless I am reminded to drink water I can easily spend the day without touching the stuff.

Also – I seem to get wrapped up into projects where I forget about life around me. I forget that my goal is to be healthy and I just grab processed meals and eat them on the go. I forget that Yoga makes me feel balanced and I say ‘Oh – that can wait until next week.’

Same with friends – I often disappear for weeks and people on FaceBook wonder where I went. Or I won’t call my best friend…It’s not that I don’t care, I just get sucked into things and eventually lose the plot. I then resurface and have to remind myself of my values, goals and what I want my life to be.

Getting back to the card idea…For more specific goals I could have more specific cards. For example, me and a friend are creating a website that will sell affiliate products. We choose products that we’re very interested in and want to make an income blogging about them.

For my Internet Product Blog, my goals are to:

To add value to the people that visit the site through education, humour, experience, tips and product reviews.
Earn an income of at least 1,000/month through affiliate sales and advertising
Enjoy planning, discussing, reviewing and creating the site with my friend
Learn how affiliate marketing, blogging and social media all work together

For my actions:

Spend at least 1 hour/day creating valuable content (reviews, videos, articles)
Spend at least 1 hour/day administering the website (new products, better adverts, new features, seo maintenance)
Spend ½ hour/day working on social media
Spend at least 15 minutes/day talking to my friend about what we are both doing
Spend at least a few hours with my friend testing products, planning future website additions, etc.

As you can see, the Internet Product Blog card is much more specific. I’m not sure if my actions will enable me to achieve the goals, but I’m sure those actions are heading in the right direction. Nothing is in concrete either…I’ might find that I need to spend 2 hours creating valuable content and if that’s the case, I just change my card.

Either way this card will help me to ensure I have an inspired business or participate in inspired work!

Other cards that I would produce include:

Quality family time
Time alone with hubby
Social connection with family and friends
Wealth plan
Me time plan

I could also include short-term cards too…perhaps a holiday or vacation plan and so forth.

Yeah…I could just write these down on a piece of paper, but for some reason the whole idea of cards seems to work. Every day I can start it by looking at my cards ensuring that I remember all my goals/values.

Maybe it’s just me…but I go off track so easily. I need some sort of device to remind myself that designing my life is in my hands! Perhaps I can test this out and if it works, I’ll create a ‘Journey Tool,’ and add that to the site.

I’ll keep you posted.

Keep asking yourself – does this task, activity or journey feel right?

Posted on August 19, 2011 by Kim

This whole concept about being conscious of my thoughts and feelings is amazing. Rather than getting stuck into something and spending weeks (and dare I say years) on autopilot I’m starting to question the value of my journey each day and sometimes every hour.

When I get a funny feeling that things aren’t right, I’ve started to contemplate what’s causing the feeling. I tell myself that the feelings are an internal reaction to something. Rather than blame someone or something for the funny feeling I investigate and often find that I’m doing something that doesn’t match up with my values.

For example, yesterday I was requested to attend a meeting where I would have to pretend to be committed, enthusiastic and even visionary. After the request came through I felt a knot in my stomach, my shoulders started to tense and I felt ‘funny’. At first, I blamed the person who asked me to attend the meeting.

But after sleeping on it things I realised that the issue was inside me – pretending to be someone I’m not goes against my values. Once I realised what the real issue was, I simply told the guy running the meeting that I’m happy to do it but I’m not going to be committed, enthusiastic or visionary. He can then make the decision if he wants me there or not.

And lately…while I’m working on a project I’ll ask myself, ‘Kim – are you enjoying this?’ The answer isn’t always yes – the task may not be enjoyable, but there’s often value in it and I can make a conscious decision to carry on doing it (or not).

Again – I keep coming back to the same conclusion. Enjoying the journey doesn’t mean that I’m happy every second of the day. It means that I’m conscious of what I’m doing and I am choosing to do or not do tasks according to my feelings and values.

I once read in a book that feelings are a guidance system – they tell you if you’re going off-course. I finally understand this concept! If you can pay attention to how you feel…and if you’re not feeling right…there’s something going on that needs to be looked at.

Anyhooooooo, do you periodically ask yourself if you’re enjoying your journey throughout the day?

Is it possible to be the same person in all situations – to be authentic all the time?

Posted on August 15, 2011 by Kim

I’m conscious of the fact that my website is about enjoying the journey of life and the subject matter is very general. The site is not about enjoying work or enjoying your family or any other segment (in isolation). It’s about enjoying as much as you can in every area of life as much as possible.

Writing on such a wide topic is however somewhat difficult. Perhaps I need to recreate my menu structure into family, friends, work, health, wealth and spiritual? But that defeats the purpose of my site…

The website is suppose to be about integrating fulfilment into every area of my life and if I start to segment it I fear I’ll end up where I was in the past – having a great social life and bad love life or a fantastic day at work and terrible time with the family. Segmentation caused me to differentiating my life whereas my new aim (I think) is to have them all to flow together.

I don’t want different values and behaviours for different life segments. I don’t want to be one person at work and then switch to another person at home…I want to be the same authentic person towards everyone. But I’ve worn so many hats for so long – is there a Kim that is the same across the board? Is there a Kim that is capable of flowing rather than segmenting life?

Interesting question. I just don’t know. I’ve spent so many years acting…(not on purpose – of course!). I also have held this belief that work is crap but you need to get on with it so that you can enjoy other things. My issue is that by the time work is over I’m too tired to enjoy anything.

So…is it possible to be authentic all the time?

What if I could care about everyone like I care about my daughter? What if I could smile at everyone as if they were my best friend? What if I could give to people in need as if they were in my immediate family?

And how about having a great time at work, going home and having a nice evening with the family and then out with friends for a nice meal? In the past, I had a hectic, stressful day at work, went home to a glass of wine to numb my anxieties and hit my bed by 8pm ignoring invites from my friends.

Hmmmm, I really like the idea of enjoying each segment of my day in addition to being the same person throughout. I wonder if it’s possible to live life this way?

Can Facebook help you to enjoy the journey?

Posted on August 14, 2011 by Kim

I have to admit that I haven’t been a massive user of Facebook in the past – I’ve commented here or there every few weeks but that’s about it. Lately, I’ve been a bit more active as my Blackberry has a Facebook application allowing for constant updates. I often find myself in line at the coffee shop or stopped at a traffic light reading a few posts. If I ever have to wait at the doctor’s office I might even have enough time to post something.

After reflecting on why I haven’t embraced Facebook, two things came to mind:

Being self-conscious (will my friends care about what I comment on?)
Time (I’m just too busy to mess around with Facebook!)

I would read comments and think… ’They have loads to say…but I’m boring.’ Or, ‘who really cares what’s going on with me anyway?’ I’ve often felt a conflict between announcing something interesting but not too interesting. And in the end I just didn’t post anything. I suppose it’s the whole self-conscious thing raring it’s ugly head. And because I’m too worried about what I might look like, I just tell myself that I’m too busy.

The crazy thing is that Facebook has so much to offer. If people like me would just get over their self-conscious worries, they’d find a valuable support network available 24hours/day 7 days/week. And dare I say that Facebook can help people to enjoy their journey more?

For the past week I’ve experimented by posting regularly in addition to leaving comments and ‘liking’ what my friends have to say. Within one day I started to get comments and ‘likes’ and ‘pokes’ (whatever they are).

More importantly, I felt a part of something. I felt valued? Is that the right word? I wrote about the fact that my 15 month old daughter says ten words and none of them are ‘mom/mum’ only to hear from friends that that’s normal. I posted that I’m wheat intolerant and I received a comment from an aunt I haven’t talked to in 5 years. And on and on.

So my experiment with taking a more active role in Facebook has had a very positive impact on me. I’ve realised that I really have to stop worrying about what others might think AND that there’s a community out there of friends – some of which I’ve known since I was very young – that are there to be supportive, loving and helpful.

Do you use Facebook and does it help you to enjoy the journey?

Why does the plight for improvement turn into an impossible journey aimed at obtaining perfection?

Posted on August 12, 2011 by Kim

Lots of us aim to improve ourselves – we read books, go to courses, mirror our heroes and contemplate what we can do to be better people.

In the midst of working on becoming a better person we often lose perspective. The plight for improvement turns into an impossible journey aimed at obtaining perfection. Where does this need to be perfect come from?

A little voice inside me often says, ‘If I was only perfect, things would be fine’. Where did that voice come from? No one has ever been perfect and being human has nothing to do with finding perfection. In fact, there is no such thing – my ideal of perfection is not the same as anyone else’s.

Is this perfection concept something that comes from the mass psyche? Well – I’d like to get rid of it. I’d like to be able to be comfortable in my imperfection. I’d like to be able to make mistakes and not have to re-run them through my head 20 times thinking ‘if only I did it this way, it would have worked.’

Now that I’m a mother I want to be able to teach my daughter to be comfortable with failing. I want her to realise that even if she makes mistakes she’s no less of a person. So – how do I do that if I can’t embrace myself when I error?

So – perhaps part of enjoying the journey is to figure out how I can mess up and still feel okay. Any suggestions on how I can do that?

Enjoying The Journey

To demonstrate that it’s possible to make your journey through life more enjoyable

Tag Archives: enjoying the journey