Tag Archives: Friends

Is it possible to be the same person in all situations – to be authentic all the time?

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I’m conscious of the fact that my website is about enjoying the journey of life and the subject matter is very general.  The site is not about enjoying work or enjoying your family or any other segment (in isolation).  It’s about enjoying as much as you can in every area of life as much as possible.

Writing on such a wide topic is however somewhat difficult. Perhaps I need to recreate my menu structure into family, friends, work, health, wealth and spiritual?  But that defeats the purpose of my site…

The website is suppose to be about integrating fulfilment into every area of my life and if I start to segment it I fear I’ll end up where I was in the past – having a great social life and bad love life or a fantastic day at work and terrible time with the family.  Segmentation caused me to differentiating my life whereas my new aim (I think) is to have them all to flow together.

I don’t want different values and behaviours for different life segments.  I don’t want to be one person at work and then switch to another person at home…I want to be the same authentic person towards everyone.  But I’ve worn so many hats for so long – is there a Kim that is the same across the board?  Is there a Kim that is capable of flowing rather than segmenting life?

Interesting question.  I just don’t know.  I’ve spent so many years acting…(not on purpose – of course!).  I also have held this belief that work is crap but you need to get on with it so that you can enjoy other things.  My issue is that by the time work is over I’m too tired to enjoy anything.

So…is it possible to be authentic all the time?

What if I could care about everyone like I care about my daughter?  What if I could smile at everyone as if they were my best friend?  What if I could give to people in need as if they were in my immediate family?

And how about having a great time at work, going home and having a nice evening with the family and then out with friends for a nice meal?  In the past, I had a hectic, stressful day at work, went home to a glass of wine to numb my anxieties and hit my bed by 8pm ignoring invites from my friends.

Hmmmm, I really like the idea of enjoying each segment of my day in addition to being the same person throughout.  I wonder if it’s possible to live life this way?

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Can Facebook help you to enjoy the journey?

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I have to admit that I haven’t been a massive user of Facebook in the past – I’ve commented here or there every few weeks but that’s about it.  Lately, I’ve been a bit more active as my Blackberry has a Facebook application allowing for constant updates.  I often find myself in line at the coffee shop or stopped at a traffic light reading a few posts.  If I ever have to wait at the doctor’s office I might even have enough time to post something.

After reflecting on why I haven’t embraced Facebook, two things came to mind:

  1. Being self-conscious (will my friends care about what I comment on?)
  2. Time (I’m just too busy to mess around with Facebook!)

I would read comments and think… ’They have loads to say…but I’m boring.’ Or, ‘who really cares what’s going on with me anyway?’  I’ve often felt a conflict between announcing something interesting but not too interesting. And in the end I just didn’t post anything.  I suppose it’s the whole self-conscious thing raring it’s ugly head.  And because I’m too worried about what I might look like, I just tell myself that I’m too busy.

The crazy thing is that Facebook has so much to offer.  If people like me would just get over their self-conscious worries, they’d find a valuable support network available 24hours/day 7 days/week.  And dare I say that Facebook can help people to enjoy their journey more?

For the past week I’ve experimented by posting regularly in addition to leaving comments and ‘liking’ what my friends have to say.  Within one day I started to get comments and ‘likes’ and ‘pokes’ (whatever they are).

More importantly, I felt a part of something.  I felt valued?  Is that the right word?  I wrote about the fact that my 15 month old daughter says ten words and none of them are ‘mom/mum’ only to hear from friends that that’s normal.  I posted that I’m wheat intolerant and I received a comment from an aunt I haven’t talked to in 5 years.  And on and on.

So my experiment with taking a more active role in Facebook has had a very positive impact on me.  I’ve realised that I really have to stop worrying about what others might think AND that there’s a community out there of friends – some of which I’ve known since I was very young – that are there to be supportive, loving and helpful.

Do you use Facebook and does it help you to enjoy the journey?

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